


Guardian Angel

by waitwhathuh



Series: I'm Finding It Hard To Believe We're In Heaven [1]
Category: Carmilla (Web Series)
Genre: Adultery, Alternate Universe- No Supernatural, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, F/F, Wife swap AU?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-25
Updated: 2015-12-25
Packaged: 2018-05-09 04:31:54
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 27,071
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5525474
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/waitwhathuh/pseuds/waitwhathuh
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"Something about both having wives that cheated on you with the other's respective wife seems to be great bonding material."<br/>The story about how Laura and Carmilla leaned on each other after being betrayed by their wives, and maybe ended up giving love another chance in the process.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Guardian Angel

**Author's Note:**

> Hello! Here's another thing that I wrote. You may now view it with your eyes. Or whatever.

"14 Femmeslash Moments That Made You Cry With Happiness"

Laura sighed, leaning back in her chair and staring at the screen in front of her, which contained what would be the companion piece to the article she posted last week – 37 Femmeslash Moments That Made You Cry. Full stop.

She couldn't help but notice that there were far more heartbreaking femmeslash stories in the media than there were heartwarming. Not that she needed to write a BuzzFeed article to tell her that. Laura knew she was gay since she was sixteen. She was well-versed in all things lady-loving, thank you very much.

This hadn't been the job Laura pictured herself having at age 24. She expected to be working at perhaps The Globe And Mail, cracking down on the instances of homophobia and transphobia she knew still lurked in their society. But then the Toronto office of BuzzFeed offered her a job right out of University after they were impressed with her blog. She took it, because opportunities don't come around every day. Two years later and she's still here making frivolous lists for the LGBT section of BuzzFeed.

Not that she could _really_ complain. Maybe it wasn't what she hoped for, but BuzzFeed allowed her to take part in serious articles or videos about the issues from time to time. The job paid well enough. She had food, a roof over her head – and a beautiful wife whom she loved very much.

No reason to complain at all.

"You better put that moment where Beca and Chloe finally got together in Pitch Perfect 3." Laura heard the voice over her shoulder. She turned to see the beautiful wife in question. Laura smiled.

"Duh. That's going to be number one." Laura stated, and looked Danny over. "Going to the gym again?"

"Sure am. Leg day today." Danny explained.

"That personal trainer of yours really has you overworking yourself, huh?" Laura commented. Danny seemed to stall for a moment, her expression unreadable.

"You could say that." Danny muttered, staring at Laura with a frown creasing her lips.

"Hey, maybe you should take a break. You won't lose all that progress if you take one weekend off." Laura urged. "Maybe we could do something. It's been a while since we've, you know, been on a date."

"We're married, Laura. The dating era has kind of passed, don't you think?" Danny questioned.

"Well, no. I just thought that when I married you, I'd see more of you. Not less." Laura mumbled, letting her emotions bubble to the surface. "I don't know, maybe it was a little presumptuous of me to think that wives still did things together."

Hurt and maybe guilt flashed across Danny's face, but also a hint of anger.

"I'm working hard, Laura." Danny claimed.

"Relationships need work too." Laura sighed, crossing her arms. Danny looked away from Laura, deciding the floor was more interesting.

"I just really want this. I don't want to end up stuck with some job I never wanted in the first place." Danny grumbled. Laura felt her face go hot with a flush, her features scrunching up in anger.

"Low blow." Laura glared. Danny finally looked up, surprised.

"That's… that's not what I meant." Danny assured, leaning down to Laura's height. "I feel like… this is what I need right now. I feel like it'll be worth it. That it'll all work out in the end. Just be patient with me a little longer, please?"

Danny touched Laura's cheek and she felt herself melt, even if she was still a little pissed off.

"Fine. But I would like to see you a little more, and I don't want to see you overexerting yourself. Just one weekend. That's all I ask." Laura requested. Danny's eyes softened, but it took her a few moments to reply. Eventually she nodded slowly.

"Okay." Danny conceded. Laura broke into a smile once again, heart filling with hope.

"Okay! Great. There's this play that opened up last weekend with Soulpepper and I heard it was really good. We could see that and maybe take a walk through the Distillery District? Maybe take in the holiday lights?" Laura suggested. Danny gave a small smile.

"Sure. Sounds great." Danny gave Laura a peck on the lips. "I'll see you later tonight, okay?"

"Make sure you stretch." Laura warned with a smile.

"Always." Danny smirked, grabbing her gym bag. Laura watched her until she went out the apartment door before releasing a dejected sigh.

Danny had always been big into athletics in University. Laura to that day had no idea how Danny juggled being both a Lit TA and the star of Silas' Lacrosse team, but that was just one of many things Laura admired about her. As much as Danny loved 19th century literature, lacrosse was her true love. She was invited to be on Canada's National Women's Lacrosse team after being scouted, and Danny took it seriously. Very seriously.

Apparently in the next Summer Olympics, lacrosse was going to be a contested sport for the first time since 1908. Last time Canada won the gold, and lacrosse happened to be Canada's national sport – not hockey like everyone thought. This would be a huge opportunity for Danny so she had been working hard to achieve that dream and get her team to the Olympics.

And Laura understood. She did. She just thought that with it being the off-season, she might have some more time to enjoy her newly-wed life. Instead, Danny was always either at practice with her team at an indoor arena, or she was at the gym being worked to the bone by that personal trainer whatever-her-name-was.

But Laura digressed, twisting the wedding band around her finger while she turned back to her article in progress. As frustrated as Laura was right now, she understood working hard to get yourself where you wanted to be in life. As a doting wife, she would support her spouse unconditionally. She would believe Danny when she said that it would all be worth it in the end.

Because she trusted Danny.

* * *

Danny stood Laura up for their weekend plans. Apparently she was scheduled for a last minute mandatory practice, but when Laura asked Danny's teammate Betty about it, she said there had been no such thing. When Laura confronted Danny, she explained it was a one-on-one practice with her coach to get her shots a little cleaner. And she was really, truly sorry and she'd make it up to her. They left it at that.

Laura tried not to let it get to her.

"I mean, am I crazy? Or does it seem like Danny's trying to avoid me?" Laura huffed into her computer screen, ruffling her hair in frustration. The redhead on the other side gave Laura a sympathetic look.

"You might be crazy." LaFontaine answered honestly. "She seems like any typical work-a-holic. She's always put her athletics first. You've known this since Silas."

"Yeah, but I feel like at one time I was at least on par with her athletics in terms of importance." Laura pouted. "Great. Now I feel crazy and selfish."

"Oh, LaFontaine, look what you've done. Honestly." Perry scoffed, coming into view of the video feed. "Laura, sweetie, it's not selfish of you to want to spend more time with your wife. You shouldn't be feeling this left out in your marriage."

"You think so?" Laura inquired, feeling a little better after being validated.

"Uh, yeah. What Perry said." LaFontaine gestured to Perry, with equally red hair. How Laura ended up with so many redheads in her life, she'll never know.

"I think what LaFontaine meant to say is that it's hard to believe Danny would avoid you on purpose. Have you talked to her about how you're feeling? Communication is key, after all." Perry offered.

"Of course I have. Which led to us making a date for the weekend. Which ended up not happening." Laura slumped into her desk chair. Perry's lips pressed into a thin line, her brow scrunched in thought.

"Maybe you need to have a longer conversation." Perry suggested.

" _Or_ maybe actions speak louder than words." LaF jumped in. "If she's too busy to spend time with you, then place yourself in her life. Show her you support her and that you're in her corner. I'm sure she'd appreciate it."

"That's actually not an awful idea." Perry raised her eyebrows.

"See, I'm useful sometimes." LaF gave a smug grin.

"But what do you mean 'place myself in her life'? Won't that be… smothering?" Laura questioned.

"You don't have to do much." LaF shrugged. "Where is she now?"

"The gym." Laura couldn't help the eye roll that came along with the statement.

"Great. So why don't you swing by with one of those smoothies she likes so much? You'll get to see her, and she'll take the hint that you're there for her despite her blowing you off. It might encourage her to make a little more room for you, you know?" LaF explained.

"I'm not sure guilting her is quite the answer here." Perry ruffled up.

"It's not guilting. Listen, Laur always puts 110% into everything she does, including relationships. If she isn't getting back even a fraction of what she gives, then how is that fair?" LaF argued. "If Danny wants to keep Laura around, she'll start matching the effort Laura gives her."

"I'm not going to divorce her over this." Laura rolled her eyes yet again. "But yeah, I see your point. I told Danny myself the other day that relationships take work. What better way to prove that than putting in the effort myself? I just hope Danny follows suit."

"Oh, Laura, of course she will. Danny loves you." Perry consoled. Laura beamed at both of them, and LaFontaine let out a dramatic yawn.

"Well, time for us to get off to bed. I hope we helped." LaF said groggily.

"Oh, right. Time difference. I always forget." Laura flushed. "Can you two please come back from England so we can hang out again? I miss you."

"Sorry, Laur. Science needs me." LaF gave Laura a pitying look.

"And I have to go wherever they go and make certain they don't blow themselves up." Perry added with the sense that she's indeed had a few close calls.

"It's a team effort." LaF grinned. "But we'll visit soon, promise. Let us know how it goes with Danny."

"Yes, please keep us posted. We're pulling for you two." Perry wished, and they disappeared with the sound of Skype's tone signalling the end of the call.

Laura sat there, releasing a long breath. Right. Time to get to work.

She quickly mixed up the smoothie, putting love into every ingredient. Hopefully Danny appreciated it. At least Laura knew she was giving it all she had, and that she was supporting Danny. After all, Danny must've been stressed with all the training. If Laura could alleviate some stress, she'd feel a little better.

After putting the smoothie in a container, she made her way across the city to surprise Danny with a visit. Laura always found it strange that Danny went to a gym so far from their apartment when there were at least three a couple blocks away, but she figured this gym just had what Danny needed.

"Hi, I'm looking for Danny Lawrence?" Laura requested to the receptionist at the gym. The receptionist looked over from her computer.

"Name, please." The receptionist required.

"Laura Hollis. I'm her wife." Laura proclaimed. The receptionist raised their eyebrow.

"Hollis? But you said you were looking for a Lawrence." They questioned, and Laura blushed.

"Oh, yeah, I was going to take her name, but my friend LaFontaine kept laughing about my name becoming 'Laura Lawrence' so I decided to keep it as Hollis. Besides, there's this whole movement of women keeping their own names and identities in hetero relationships, so why shouldn't it be the same for lesbian-" Laura stopped short. "And… you don't care."

The receptionist stared at her before tapping away at their computer.

"So, Mrs. Hollis, are you looking to signing you and your wife up for a couple's package?" The receptionist questioned.

"Oh! No, I'm just looking for her. I wanted to give her this smoothie." Laura held the container up.

"Are you certain? If you join up now, you'll get free reign of the facilities for the first month." The receptionist continued. Laura let out a groan.

"No, seriously, I'm not looking for a membership. Just for my wife. Please." Laura pleaded. The receptionist sighed, handing Laura a visitors pass.

"This will gain you access but not to the equipment or classes. Although I urge you to take a look while in there and come back to me if you change your mind about the membership." The receptionist stated.

"Right… Thanks…" Laura said slowly, gingerly taking the visitors pass and quickly turning on her heel to enter the actual establishment.

The first place she went to was the weight room. Since last time was leg day, it'd probably be arm day today. Right?

She wandered around like a lost puppy for at least five minutes before a young man decided to help.

"Hey, babe, you look lost." He sauntered up to her, smirking. "Are you looking to do some weight training? I bet I could help. Or if you'd rather see if I could bench-press you, I'd be honoured to satiate your curiosity."

Laura's face scrunched up in annoyance.

"I'm married." Laura thrusted up her ring, which she really wished was on her middle finger at that moment. The man's confident façade cracked only for a second.

"Doesn't matter to me, firecracker." He held out his hand. "Theo, always at the service of a hottie in an unfulfilling marriage."

Laura stared at his hand, making no move to shake it.

"Even if I did condone having an affair, which I don't, and even if I didn't have a fulfilled marriage, which I do, I'm a lesbian." Laura glared.

Theo raised his eyebrow.

"Hot."

Oh my god, that is why. That is why Laura never came to the gym. That, right there.

"Look, I'm just trying to find my wife. Maybe you've seen her? Really tall? Red hair?" Laura inquired. Theo's eyes widen slightly.

"Ah, you're looking for Lawrence." He addressed her slowly. "Interesting."

"Why is that interesting? Is the height difference? We get that a lot." Laura commented.

"No, but it's interesting that you're with Lawrence and yet do not condone having affairs, as you say." He looked at Laura with almost pity. Laura furrowed her brow.

"I have no idea what you're talking about. I just want to give my wife this smoothie." Laura huffed. Theo crossed his arms, nodding his head to the door in the back.

"Lawrence likes to have… private sessions with her personal trainer." Theo explained.

"Back there? Great. Thanks." Laura turned away, but Theo put a hand on her shoulder. If Laura hadn't been holding a smoothie, should would've Krav Maga'd him in the throat.

"Once you open that door, you can't unsee it. Just warning a hottie." He cautioned. Laura looked at him like he had three heads.

"Thanks, but I'm sure this 'hottie' can handle whatever new-age exercises they're doing in there." Laura claimed, turning and talking towards the door. She grabbed the handle, and found it was locked. She saw the card reader underneath and swiped her visitor's card. The door popped open.

The smoothie container went clattering to the ground, it's contents splattering across the floor.

Danny's face twisted from the intense pleasure she was feeling a moment ago to devastated fear as she noticed Laura standing there with her mouth agape.

"L-Laura?" Danny stammered, pushing the blonde head by her crotch away.

"Laura? Isn't that the name of your wife? This would be far sexier if you were moaning the right name, baby…" The blonde crooned, but soon saw Danny was looking past her. She turned slowly, viewing Laura standing there with her shocked expression. "Oh."

Laura felt the tears burn behind her eyes, the shock slowly being replaced by baffled rage.

"What. The hell. Is going on?" Laura spat.

"Laura, I can explain-" Danny gaped.

"Oh, sure, I'm sure this is just how you 'train', right? It must be great for your core muscles when some random bombshell's head is between your legs." Laura glowered. Danny fell silent, having nothing to say. The blonde looked between the two of them.

"This… is awkward. Okay! So, hi, I'm Ell, Danny's personal-"

"Shut up." Laura sputtered, and whoever this Ell is had the audacity to look insulted. Laura looked back at Danny. "How long?" She demanded.

"Just two months." Danny tried to assure her.

" _Just_ two months?" Laura's voice cracked. "You've been cheating on me for two months!?"

"I… I was going to tell you." Danny whimpered. Ell reached over to take Danny's hand – an action Laura tried hard to ignore.

"Sometimes these things happen, Laura. Sometimes you can't help when cupid's bow strikes-"

"Bullshit." Laura growls, and again Ell looks insulted at being interrupted. "I wasn't enough for you anymore? Fine. But that's no excuse to cheat on me. That's never, ever okay. I thought you were better than this. I thought…" Laura tore her eyes away, tears streaming down her cheeks. "Oh my god, who the hell did I even marry?"

"Laura, please." Danny sniffled, tears in her eyes as well. "I still care about you. Don't get me wrong. I never meant to hurt you. I'm so sorry."

"Don't." Laura seethed, pointing at them. "I never want to see either of you ever again."

"Laura!" Danny called out, but Laura was already sprinting from the room.

She didn't catch Theo giving her a pitied glance. She didn't hear the receptionist call out for her to return the visitor's pass. Everything was whirling inside her head. It was as if the world just got 100x louder. As if everything was screaming at her. Everything she had been so sure of suddenly no longer made sense. She didn't notice how close to the road she had gotten.

She didn't see the car screeching towards her.

She only vaguely registered the horn of the car blaring and the hand grasping roughly at her arm, pulling her back. The world snapped back into focus as the car flashed by, just inches away from her.

"Christ, cutie. Did you leave your brain at home today?" A cool voice reached through whatever was left of the fog that shrouded Laura.

Laura slowly turned toward the voice. Who she saw broke her out of her stupor completely. It was a woman around her age, with sharp features and raven locks that were a stark contrast to her pale skin. Laura almost couldn't believe how beautiful she was.

Was this Laura's guardian angel?

Laura noticed the woman's face go from slightly annoyed to concerned, probably at the sight of the tears still running down Laura's cheeks. The woman's expression softened considerably looking Laura over, and she stepped close.

"Listen. Whatever happened, it's not worth hurling yourself into the street over." The woman paused a moment. "You could've dented that guy's car."

Laura fought the urge to roll her eyes.

"No, I wasn't trying to- I just wasn't paying attention. I-" Laura took a moment to swallow the lump in her throat.

"Alright, what'd the world do to put a frown on such a pretty face?" She questioned.

In spite of everything, Laura blushed. This was ridiculous. All she wanted to do right now was go home and throw herself into her bed and cry and not think about how it was a bed she shared with Danny. She didn't want to vent her issues to some random, beautiful stranger who saved her life.

And yet something compelled her to spill everything.

"My wife's having an affair." Laura choked out.

A form of realization flashed across the woman's face, and her mouth turned into a deep frown. Her eyes were dark, almost haunted at the news. As if it affected her personally.

"Laura."

Laura hears the last voice she wanted to hear right then as Danny burst out of the doors and joined them on the sidewalk. The only thing that could make it worse is if Ell was right behind her – and look! There she was!

"Seriously?" Laura whipped her head towards them, leering. "I told you I didn't want to see you and your… _friend_ again. At least you had the decency to put your pants back on."

"Laura, please. Can we at least talk? I don't want it to end like this." Danny pleaded.

"Oh _now_ you want to talk?! It's a little late for that, don't you think?" Laura sputtered, the angry fog filling her mind again. "If you want to talk, you're just going to have to use your new toy there instead."

Laura looked at Ell to hopefully see some reaction at the insult to satisfy her. Instead, she saw Ell gawking at the woman next to her.

"Carmilla?!" Ell exclaimed. Laura followed the gaze to the woman – Carmilla, whose jaw was set rigid as she glared at Ell. Danny's eyes widen.

" _That_ ' _s_ Carmilla? Your wife Carmilla?" Danny gaped. Laura's head snapped back to look at Danny, and then snapped back to look at Carmilla's left hand. There was a wedding band around her ring finger. Just like Laura.

"Damn, Ell. Sleeping with another woman's wife. I never thought you'd stoop so low." Carmilla's voice was calm, despite looking so angry. Ell's face set back into an obnoxious, smug expression.

"Come now, Carmilla. You've known for a while that I don't love you anymore." Ell stated. "And now I'm happy. Don't I deserve to be happy?"

"You didn't need to drag someone else's relationship into it. This girl nearly walked out into the street because of you." Carmilla seethed. Danny glanced at Laura in worry.

"What? Laura, are you okay?" Danny interrogated.

"Obviously not, Clifford." Carmilla spat. "But the car didn't hit her, no thanks to you."

Danny's fists clenched.

"Listen, I don't really know anything about you, but I know you made Ell unhappy." Danny accused, and Carmilla scoffed. "You can't just come in here and insult me. Laura is still my wife, and-"

"Not anymore." Laura announced. "I want a divorce."

"Ditto." Carmilla nodded. Danny looked at Laura with guilt.

"Laura, don't be like this." Danny pleaded.

"What? Do you _not_ want a divorce!?" Laura shouted. "There's no way I'm staying your wife while you sleep with someone else on the side. And even if you did drop her, how could I ever trust you again? _I have no idea who you are anymore_!"

"I know. I fucked up." Danny groaned, taking a step forward. "It's just… Laura, you're such a great person and I don't want this to be the end of everything."

"Back off, Amazon." Carmilla warned. "She clearly doesn't want or need any of your shit."

"Careful with that tongue, Carmilla. Wouldn't want to get a lawyer involved, would we?" Ell stated. Carmilla flinched and Ell looked at Danny. "Good thing I found someone who is much more talented with hers."

Laura wished she hadn't heard that.

Suddenly Carmilla stepped in front of her, almost protective, and Laura could swear she heard Carmilla growl.

"Just **stay away from us**. Both of you." Carmilla snapped, any hint of calm finally left her voice. "If any one of you comes near us again, you will regret it."

Danny, even in all her 6ft glory, looked scared for a moment. Ell just seemed challenging. Laura takes the que from Carmilla to take her own shot. She steps beside Carmilla, glaring Danny down.

"You're moving out. I'll mail you your stuff and the divorce papers." Laura claimed. She chucked the ring towards her and turned on her heel, storming down the street. Leaving Danny far behind.

Along with her blonde mistress.

And the dark-haired beauty.

* * *

It had been three weeks since "the moment", as Laura started referring to it as. She found it to be a good catch-all term. The moment her heart shattered into pieces. The moment she felt that proverbial knife drive itself into her back. The moment she lost the ability to trust anyone wholly ever again. The moment she wanted to bleach her eyeballs.

The moment she became an ex-wife.

Danny thankfully moved out with no resistance. The last Laura had heard from her was a text with the address to ship her stuff to, which Laura gladly did immediately. As soon as everything that reminded her of Danny was removed from her apartment, Laura felt free to wallow in self-pity around the abode as much as she wanted.

Of course, she couldn't scrub the place of Danny completely. The whole apartment reminded Laura of Danny. They had bought it together. Every so often, Laura could even catch a whiff of Danny's perfume, and she'd be thrown into weeping in her bed all over again.

Which was where she was at that very moment.

The sound of a Skype call from her laptop interrupted her pity party. With a groan, Laura forced herself up and shuffled across the room to grab her laptop. She carried it back, lying back down on her bed with it next to her and answered the call.

"Hey, Laur. Did you know you're sideways?" LaF commented when they appeared on Laura's screen.

"I'm lying down." Laura pouted, bunching the covers up by her face. Perry sat down next to LaF, a compassionate look on her face.

"Oh, Laura. When was the last time you've been outside?" Perry questioned.

"For your information, I just went out to buy milk." Laura stated.

"When?" LaF inquired.

"…Tuesday?" Laura said tentatively.

"That was three days ago!" Perry gasped. Laura let out a huff.

"I'm fine, I swear. I've been keeping myself fed, and showered, and I've still been posting articles for BuzzFeed. I just haven't been in the office lately. Which they understand." Laura mumbled.

"Yeah, I caught your last article. 11 Movies To Watch When You're Heartbroken. Subtle." LaF raised their eyebrow.

"I've… had time to do some research." Laura scowled. "Finding Nemo always cheers me up and I felt the BuzzFeed readers deserved to know for their own lives."

"Yes, you certainly look… cheery." Perry noted.

"I'm in the middle of a divorce, guys. There's nothing wrong with letting myself feel sad." Laura whined.

"I know, sweetie. We're just… worried about you." Perry sighed. "It's been three weeks and you're… um…"

"A tortured potato of melancholy." LaF offered. Perry smacked them lightly on the shoulder.

"LaFontaine!" She chided.

"What? I'm just calling it as I see it. Unofficial truth speaker, remember?" LaF stated.

"No, you guys are right. I'm pathetic." Laura groaned, grasping at the other pillow and throwing it over her face. Immediately she smelled Danny's shampoo and she chucked the pillow across the room.

"We can't say we blame you, or anything." LaF frowned. "We can't imagine what you're going through. It's a rough situation."

"I wish you guys were here." Laura mumbled. "You know what tomorrow is, right?"

"Yeah, we do." LaF nodded solemly.

"Sorry, sweetie. We wish we could be there for you." Perry said with concern.

"No, no. Don't feel bad or anything. It's just, for this kind of thing I would always have Danny to go to. And now…" Laura bit back some tears. Her friends had seen her cry over Skype enough the past few weeks.

"We know, honey." Perry cooed. "It still doesn't make sense. We talked to Danny but it still-"

"Wait, you talked to her?" Laura sat up quickly. Both LaF and Perry froze.

"W-well… yes, but-" Perry stammered out.

"Are you _still_ talking to her?" Laura demanded. LaF and Perry stared at Laura like deer caught in headlights. Finally, LaF leaned over to Perry.

"Good going." LaF hissed.

"Now Laura, you know we're on your side here. 100%. There is nothing we condone about Danny's behaviour." Perry assured Laura.

"We're just… trying to get to the bottom of it." LaF frowned. "It doesn't make sense."

"You're right. It doesn't." Laura bit her lip. It was so out of character of Danny. That is what gave her emotional whiplash more than anything. "Don't worry about it. It'd be wrong of me to ask you guys to cut all contact with her. You guys were friends with her before I ever came along, anyway."

"We're sorry, Laura." Perry sighed, but Laura shook her head.

"It's fine. I just, I think I need someone to talk to." Laura admitted.

"Like a therapist?" LaF suggested.

"Maybe. I don't know. Therapists are great, but I don't think they're for me. I need something more personal. Like sitting down with a coffee and someone who understands. No time limit, no pressure. Just someone to listen who… gets it." Laura rambled off. Perry's eyes lit up.

"Oh! Idea!" Perry exclaimed.

"What? No, I wanted to have the idea!" LaF whined.

"Oh, shush. Because your last idea went so well." Perry rolled her eyes.

"Hey, if it weren't for me, Laura would still be running around ignorant to the fact that-"

"Guys!" Laura caught their attention, and they gave her an ashamed look. Laura took a deep breath. "Perry, what's your idea?"

Perry brightened up again. "Didn't you say this 'Ell' woman also had a wife?" She questioned. Laura's eyes widened in intrigue.

"Yeah. Carmilla. Why?" Laura inquired. LaF seemed to clue in on what Perry was putting forward.

"Oh, c'mon, Laur. She's the perfect person to talk to!" LaF exclaimed. "She knows exactly what you're going through, and you can both bitch about your ex-wives together. Since, you know, they kind of wife-swapped on you."

Laura furrowed her brow. "I don't know. Wouldn't it be weird of me to just storm into her life and ask her to talk about our cheating ex-wives? What if she doesn't want to talk? And last time I saw her I didn't… give the greatest impression."

"It's worth a try, honey. For all you know, she could be laying in her bed right now wishing she had someone to talk to as well." Perry urged.

"Yeah. Just put yourself out there. You'd never hesitate like this before." LaF pointed out. "Don't let Danny hold you back."

Laura's face scrunched up. "You're right. Danny's taken enough from me already. And maybe this woman is totally feeling the same way!" She exclaimed.

"There's the ol' Laura." LaF grinned, but Laura slumped back down.

"I just… don't know how to contact her." Laura sighed. There was a pause between the three of them for a moment.

"We could ask Danny for you, if you'd like." Perry proposed. Laura shook her head.

"No. I can't be afraid of Danny forever. I want to show her that she hasn't gotten me down." She proclaimed. "I'll… call her."

"If you're sure." LaF looked skeptical.

"Completely sure. In fact, I'm going to call her right now. So I'll talk to you later." Laura nodded.

"Alright, sweetie. Good luck." Perry also had a skeptical look. Laura ended the call before she had to look at their concerned faces any longer.

It took a moment before Laura realized what she had done and flopped back down onto her pillow.

 _Why_ had she said she would call Danny? Why would she say that? Was it because she wants to convince her friends she was moving on healthily? She felt anything but healthy.

She had a staring contest with her phone before doing a few breathing exercises. Then, she hit dial.

"… **Laura**?" That too-familiar voice flowed from the receiver. It took everything in Laura's willpower not to break down immediately.

"Danny." Came Laura's strangled reply. "I'll keep this short. I want Carmilla's contact info."

There was silence over the phone a moment.

" **You mean Ell's ex**?"

"How many Carmilla's do we know?" Laura bit back. Clearly she was still bitter.

" **Why in the hell do you want her contact**?" Danny interrogated, and Laura grit her teeth. It was really none of her business.

"I don't know, maybe so I have someone to talk to? Something about both having wives that cheated on you with the other's respective wife seems to be great bonding material." Laura muttered. Again, she's met with long silence.

"… **I don't think that's a good idea**." Danny finally replied, her voice small.

"And you're an authority on that because…" Laura interrogated.

" _ **Because**_ **I'm** … **seeing her ex-wife, Laura. I've heard a lot of stories. That girl is bad news**." Danny warned. Laura pressed her lips together.

"I think I'll be the judge of that." Laura stated.

" **Laura, I'm just trying to look out for you** -"

"Well, don't." Laura snapped, shutting Danny up. "Just give me her info. You at least owe me that."

Laura heard a long sigh on the other side of the phone.

" **Alright, fine. I don't have the info. She moved out before I moved in. But… I'll ask Ell if she knows where she went**." Danny promised. Laura felt that sting in the back of her eyes.

"Okay great. Thanks. Text me." Laura rushed out, quickly ending the call.

She clapped her hand over her mouth to stifle a sob, her eyes screwed shut. That was harder than she thought it would be. Hearing that Danny was already living with Ell is what broke the camel's back. Laura _really_ needed to talk to someone.

About a half an hour later, her phone dinged with another address.

This time, it was Carmilla's.

* * *

Laura stood in the darkened hallway the next day, her fist raised in front of the old door in front of her. She had been standing like that for at least two minutes.

Had Danny given her the right address? It was such a sketchy part of the city. Surely Ell wouldn't have let Carmilla leave if she knew this is where she'd end up. Would she?

Laura gulped down her anxiety and rapped gently on the door. She heard a bit of a rustle from inside, and after a few moments, the door swung open.

She recognized the woman in front of her from that day three weeks ago, except with a few aesthetic changes. Namely, dark circles under her eyes and her hair in tangles. She looked like she hadn't slept much, compared to when Laura first saw her.

But Laura couldn't help but notice that she was still strikingly beautiful.

Carmilla seemed surprised for a moment, staring at Laura, but then she nonchalantly leaned against the frame of her door, eyes running over Laura's form.

"Well, I can't say I was expecting you. I thought you might've been one of my neighbours again with his… special brownies." Carmilla commented, her voice tired.

"Ha, nope. No brownies. Just… me. That girl you stopped from becoming road kill three weeks ago. Good times, right?" Laura let out a nervous laugh. Carmilla cocked an eyebrow.

"I remember." She confirmed. "Should I be concerned that you found me? Are you stalking me, cutie?"

"What? No! I'm sorry. I would've called first but I didn't get your number, just your address. So I decided to… drop by?" Laura smiled awkwardly.

"And how, may I ask, did you stumble upon my address?" Carmilla inquired. Laura's smile faltered.

"From, uh, Ell." Laura admitted, and Carmilla's expression darkened.

"You're not helping your case here, buttercup." Carmilla muttered. Laura shrank back a little.

"I know this isn't conventional, but I just thought we could, you know, talk." Laura offered.

"What could we possibly have to talk about?" Carmilla drawled.

"I don't know, maybe the fact that we were both cheated on by our wives, and now the cheaters are off gallivanting with each other?" Laura pointed out. "Doesn't that make you want to vent a little bit?"

"Cupcake, the only thing that makes me want to do is hide away and move on." Carmilla sighed. "You know why people move into this part of town?"

"Low income without enough opportunities due to societal issues?" Laura suggested. Carmilla rolled her eyes and leaned in close.

"They don't want to be found." Carmilla sneered. "You want to talk? Fine. I'm sorry we married a couple of assholes. Boohoo. Life goes on. You should do the same."

"But-"

Laura didn't get to finish before the door was slammed in her face.

Dejected, Laura turned away and headed back down the dank hallway.

Carmilla certainly didn't seem as pleasant as she had when Laura first met her. When she first met her she was soft and emitted a certain comforting warmth. Now she was all sharp angles and rough edges. Maybe Danny was right. Maybe she was bad news, and Ell had gotten out while she still could.

Laura stopped in her tracks at that thought. She remembered how Carmilla stepped in front of her – defended her as if they were fighting the same battle. There had to be more to the story. After all, Laura's been a little rough around the edges herself.

She remembered what LaF said about her never hesitating before. Since when did Laura Hollis give up after a door was slammed in her face?

She was sick of Danny holding her back.

Next thing Laura knew, she was back in front of the door and slamming her fist against it. The door opened again, Carmilla's annoyed expression meeting Laura's angry scrunched-up one.

"Listen. These last few weeks have been hell. I can't make sense of any of it. Believe me, I've wanted to shut everything out as well. But that's not how I want to live. And maybe deep down, you feel the same. After all, you know exactly how I feel, don't you?" Laura argued, her eyes narrowed. Carmilla's eyebrows shot up in surprise. "If you don't want to talk, that's fine. But I know all I want more than _anything_ is just to hang out with someone who _understands_. So please, at least let me take you out for coffee to thank you for saving my life. At least give me that."

Carmilla's face relaxed slowly, and she went back to leaning against her doorframe. A smirk played at the corner of her lips.

"Gee, Cupcake. It's certainly a bit early to jump back into dating, don't you think?" Carmilla teased.

"Oh, get over yourself." Laura snapped, though she was unfortunately aware of the blush warming her cheeks.

This response elicited a genuine smile from Carmilla, and she shrugged, reaching for something behind her wall.

"Fine." Carmilla pulled a leather jacket from inside her apartment and slipped it on. "But if you're going to thank me, then we're going to get some real drinks."

Carmilla passed by Laura, shutting the door behind her. Laura did an inner victory dance, watching Carmilla as she started to head down the hallway.

"What, like water?" Laura questioned. Carmilla looked back at her incredulously. "I'm kidding. That was a joke." Laura clarified, her blush threatening to come back.

Carmilla's smirk returned, and her eyes grazed over Laura with mild intrigue.

"Come on, creampuff." Carmilla shook her head, leading them down the hallway once again. Laura quickly caught up with her.

"Aren't you going to lock your door?" Laura asked. Carmilla glanced over at Laura, and she almost looked ashamed.

"I have nothing worth stealing anyway, buttercup." Carmilla sighed. Laura bit her lip. She wanted to press Carmilla a bit more about her situation and the divorce, but she stopped herself. All Carmilla wanted right now was a drink.

"Do you have a place in mind?" Laura questioned. Carmilla formed a wistful expression.

"I might."

* * *

"I'm sorry again about just showing up at your place unannounced. I know that seemed very… stalkerish." Laura relented as she slid into a small, two-person booth in the seedy bar. Carmilla slid in across from her.

"It made sense for Ell not to give out my number. She knew I would've changed it to keep her from contacting me." Carmilla shrugged.

"And yet she had your address?" Laura questioned. Carmilla raised her eyebrow and Laura immediately tried to back-track. "Sorry, I don't mean to give you the third degree. I have a passion for journalism and- that's no excuse, I'm-"

"Relax, Cupcake." Carmilla smirked. "I'm certain you had to ship off some material items to that big red giant, didn't you? I, too, had to have some things sent to me. Namely a particularly large wardrobe."

"Oh. Makes sense." Laura nodded. "And her name is Danny."

"Does it matter?" Carmilla questioned, and she rolled her head to the side as if she didn't care either way. Laura thought for a moment and finally decided that, no, it didn't. But something else mattered.

"Wait, do you know _my_ name?" Laura gaped. "Sorry, but you've just been calling me by the name of pastries and I don't know if you ever caught it."

"Laura." Carmilla answered, elongating each syllable for emphasis. Laura couldn't help the shiver that ran up her spine. Not only over the fact that this woman remembered her name from when Danny said it three weeks ago, but she _really_ liked the way it rolled off Carmilla's tongue in that husky tone.

"That's right. Laura. Laura Hollis. I kept my name the same throughout my marriage." Laura smiled, which Carmilla returned. "I… didn't catch your last name."

Carmilla's face fell and she had a distant look in her eye, as if she hadn't thought of such a question for a while.

"Karnstein. At least, that's what it was before the marriage. I suppose it is once again." Carmilla responded slowly.

"Karnstein." Laura repeated in the same style Carmilla did, and the smile returned to Carmilla's face. Suddenly, something clicked in Laura's mind at the word. "Wait, Karnstein? Carmilla Karnstein?"

"That's the name." Carmilla gave Laura a questioning glance.

"As in… C. Karnstein?" Laura pressed. Carmilla sat back in her seat, her expression bemused.

"If you're insinuating I'm the same C. Karnstein as the author of the book 'Queered And Feathered'," Carmilla leaned in closer, a bashful smile dancing on her lips, "You would be correct."

Laura's heart jumped into her throat.

"Oh my gosh. I just… I didn't expect that you were… and you are! And… wow." Laura breathed, clutching her chest.

"Does this mean you're a fan?" Carmilla inquired, her smile threatening to widen even further.

"Of course! I read that book during my first year at University! It was in the LGBTQ section of the library. I just loved your depiction of growing up in a homophobic environment. Well, I mean, not _loved_ , but the way you spun the tale with anecdotes and your imagery… it was like I really got to walk the journey with the protagonist, you know? That book played a huge role in my coming out process." Laura gushed before she could stop herself.

Carmilla's brow furrowed, but she looked touched. "Oh really? You didn't find it 'pretentiously juvenile', as many critics labelled it at the time it was released?" She inquired.

"Oh, no! I thought it was a very genuine, truthful account. It felt so vulnerable. It was impactful. Although, I felt your prose needed some work-" Laura clapped a hand over her mouth. "I'm so sorry. That was rude."

"Don't worry about it. I agree. After all, I was only 18 when I published it. There's plenty I would change now, at 24." Carmilla shrugged. "But thank you for everything else you said. The story is near and dear to my heart. It means a lot to hear it reached someone in such a way."

Laura's hand fell away, revealing her smile and flush.

"You never wrote anything else, did you?" Laura asked curiously.

"Nope. Times change, after all." Carmilla sighed, and Laura felt like Carmilla was holding all the sadness in the world. But the look on her face passed. "What about you? What do you do?"

Laura suddenly felt very embarrassed. Here she was in front of the author of one of her favourite books, and she-

"I… work at BuzzFeed." Laura admitted, not meeting Carmilla's gaze.

"You mean 21 gifs that'll blow your mind?" Carmilla chuckled.

"It's more than lists, you know! There's articles, and, and videos, and quizzes!" Laura blushed, shifting in her seat.

"Hey, don't look so ashamed, Cupcake." Carmilla's eyes softened. "There's a reason the site is so popular. It helps people relate to each other. It's a great pick-up when people need it. Hell, even I visit the site from time to time. It's as important as anything."

Laura stared at Carmilla agape. She had never heard it worded like that. Danny always made her feel like it was just a necessary evil to get Laura where she needed to be. She had never felt like it was important.

"Thanks." Laura beamed. "It just seems a little silly compared to a published author."

"It's not like I'm particularly seasoned. You might be one of five other people who have read it." Carmilla scoffed, but Laura knew that wasn't true. She saw many positive reviews on Goodreads. She wondered if Carmilla had read any of them. "Anyway, like I said. I'm not a writer anymore. I'm a bartender." Carmilla gestured her head toward the bar. "Here."

Laura was just about to comment when a woman stopped by their table.

"Well, well, well. If it isn't Carmilla showing her broody little face again." The woman smirked, and Carmilla rolled her eyes.

"Hi, Mel." Carmilla sighed.

"Does this mean I can tell J.P. you're fit to come back to work?" Mel questioned.

"Tell him I'll think about it." Carmilla joked, and Mel chuckled.

"Alright. What can I grab you and your friend from the bar?" Mel requested, holding up a notepad.

"This is Laura. She's the ex-wife of the jackass that Ell ran off with." Carmilla stated bitterly.

"Oh, shit. When did your life become a real housewives episode?" Mel whistled.

"Beats me." Carmilla groaned.

"Um, hi! I'll have a sex on the beach." Laura offered before Carmilla gave up more gossip fuel to her co-worker. Carmilla raised an eyebrow at the drink order.

"And you, Marceline?" Mel asked.

"Bourbon. Tell Kirsch to pour me our most expensive." Carmilla insisted.

"Coming right up, ladies." Mel winked. As she walked away, Laura shot Carmilla a look.

"For someone who doesn't want to talk about it, you sure are pretty loose with our business." Laura berated.

"Sorry, cutie. But I figured this way, Mel will go easier on the cheque. I did just order an expensive drink, and these drinks are all on you, correct?" Carmilla leaned her cheek on her fist, elbow propped up on the table. "After all, I saved your life."

"You are unbelievable." Laura glowered. "Maybe you should've just let me keep walking into the street."

"I'm afraid I couldn't have done that. Who would post those amusing little gif lists online?" Carmilla teased.

"Shut up." Laura scoffed, but she released a giggle against her own wishes.

This Carmilla got under her skin in more ways than one.

Mel dropped the drinks off soon after, and Laura took a sip of the sickly sweet drink while Carmilla swirled hers in her glass.

"So, how've you been holding up with everything, creampuff?" Carmilla questioned. Laura nearly choked on her drink.

"I- uh, I thought you didn't want to talk about it?" Laura pointed out.

" _I_ don't. But you clearly do. Is that not why you showed up at my door? To 'hang out with someone who understands'? Carmilla interrogates. Laura nodded slowly. "So, spill. Tell me how the ginger anomaly ripped your heart out and stomped all over it. I'll chime in with 'that bitch' every so often, if you'd like."

Laura burst into a grin and she shook her head. "No, that's okay. I just need someone to listen."

"I'm all ears." Carmilla promised, sipping her bourbon.

Laura took a deep breath and unloaded all of her feelings. She didn't feel like she needed to hold back like she did with LaF and Perry, who had been friends with Danny for a long time. If anything, the fact that Carmilla was probably just as bitter at Danny as she was helped fuel her fire.

She talked about how difficult it was to suddenly have Danny out of her life. She discussed how betrayed she felt, and how staggering that was to her. But most of all, she brought up how unexpected it seemed – how it threw her through a loop that's left her off-balance.

Carmilla listened tentatively the whole rant.

"It just… wasn't her. It wasn't the person I promised to spend my life with. I feel like I had been living with a stranger. It's not just that she cheated on me, but she also knew you existed. I can't believe she would break up not just our marriage, but another…" Laura sighed, her straw poking at the bottom of her empty glass. She didn't drink very often, and the alcohol probably made this easier to talk about.

Carmilla, however, had already thrown back two drinks and didn't seem phased in the slightest. She ordered a cheaper drink the next round for Laura's sake.

"That surprised me about Ell as well." Carmilla commented sadly. Laura raised an eyebrow. Perhaps Carmilla wanted to talk about it more than she let on. Carmilla cleared her throat, seeming to have realized her mistake. "How long were you married for?"

Laura sunk down in her seat, a wave of despair washing over her.

"Today was supposed to be our one year." Laura muttered.

Something appeared to melt in Carmilla, any sign of being guarded around Laura faded away. She wore the same expression Laura recognized from when Carmilla had saved her life and saw the tears on her cheeks. It wasn't pity. Or maybe it was, but it was more than just that. Compassion.

"She didn't even give you a year." Carmilla mumbled. "That bitch."

Somehow, this elicited a small smile from Laura. Carmilla returned a gentle smile and rested a hand on top of Laura's across the table. The action sent goosebumps up Laura's arm. Carmilla used her other arm to wave Mel down.

"Hey, another sex on the beach for the lady." Carmilla requested.

"You got it." Mel called out.

"Don't worry. That one's on me." Carmilla winked. "To… celebrate the loss of such dead weight from your life."

Laura's smile widened. "Thank you." She expressed sincerely. Then, she felt a course of bravery. "How long were you married?"

"Five years." Carmilla answered honestly. "Married young, at 19. Probably our first mistake."

"Five years." Laura breathed, her eyes wide. "I'm so sorry. Here I am complaining when we were barely off our honeymoon. It must be so hard on you."

"Don't worry about me, sugarplum. This little get together is about you, after all." Carmilla declared, and Laura could sense the guard being put back up. "Feeling any better?"

Laura shifted bashfully in her seat. "A little bit, actually. Yeah." Laura confessed. Carmilla flashed a smile, which Laura returned. "I just wish I could help you feel a little better, too."

"What makes you think you haven't helped me feel better, cutie?" Carmilla questioned, tilting her head.

Laura beamed, and they stared at each other with a silent understanding. The mutual comprehension that Laura had been craving, along with a warmth that spread through her chest. Carmilla's gaze certainly was… captivating.

Mel dropped down the next round of drinks in front of them, snapping Laura from her little staring contest. Laura picked up her pink drink, raising it to Carmilla.

"To our lack of dead weight." Laura announced. Carmilla chuckled, picking up her glass as well.

"To my new favourite stalker." Carmilla added, causing Laura to roll her eyes. But they both clinked their glasses, and took a drink while sharing fond glances.

Laura was forever grateful she didn't let Danny hold her back.

* * *

"She was… nice." Laura said slowly, LaFontaine and Perry listening on the other end of their Skype call.

"I sense some hesitation in your description." LaF scrutinized.

"I mean, she _was_ nice. She was just a little prickly at first. It took a little convincing for her to agree to… talking about what happened." Laura explained. "But when we did, or I did, it was… yeah, it was nice."

"Your synonyms could use some work." LaF quipped. Laura scowled at them.

"And do you feel better?" Perry inquired. Laura twisted her mouth, pondering.

"I'd have to say over-all, no. Everything still feels pretty awful. But at the same time it feels lighter. Like I have someone to shoulder the burden with, I guess." Laura shrugged, then her eyes widened. "N-Not that you guys haven't been great supports. You have! It's just…"

"It's okay, Laur. We get it." LaF nodded. "She can understand on a fundamental level that we can't. It's fine."

"I'm glad you wracked up the nerve to contact her." Perry smiled.

"Me too." Laura sighed. "It gave me a much needed release."

"Just one thing," LaF leaned closer to the screen. "You know about how we've been in contact with Danny…"

"LaFontaine! Tact!" Perry chided.

"Shh! It's important!" LaF assured, turning back to Laura. "Sorry, it's just, she told us that Ell's ex-wife was pretty awful to her."

"Yeah, she told me the same." Laura slumped back.

"Are you sure she's as 'nice' as you say she is?" LaF inquired.

" _I_ think so." Laura mumbled, absent-mindedly picking away at a scratch on her desk. "She was nice to me."

"How so?" Perry asked, looing suspicious.

"Well, we got drinks and… like I said, she was prickly at first but then she turned out really supportive. She even walked me home to make sure I got here safe, then she Ubered back to her place." Laura gave LaF a pointed look. "It was _nice_."

"If you say so, then she must be." LaF stated. Laura felt a pit in her stomach.

"I don't know. Maybe I'm not the best judge of character right now. Clearly I didn't know Danny like I thought I did." Laura whispered, that lump crawling back into her throat. She hadn't felt that lump since she grabbed drinks with Carmilla. "I want to figure it out for sure myself, though. After all, I think we kind of need each other right now, in some way."

"So you're seeing her again?" Perry questioned.

"I think? Maybe?" Laura groaned. "We hadn't talked about it. But I have her number."

Laura bit her lip at the memory of Carmilla grabbing her arm at the base of her apartment, gingerly pushing up her sleeve.

"Here, so you don't have to show up unannounced again and run into brownie guy." Carmilla had smirked, scrawling out her number on Laura's arm.

Laura could still see the faded ink on her arm. She ran her fingers over it lightly. That meant that Carmilla was interested in hashing out their tribulations again, right?

"Maybe a new friend like this could be good for you, Laura." Perry interrupted Laura's memory. "Do you want to see her again?"

"Yes, absolutely." Laura said without hesitation.

"Well then call her up." Perry beamed. "Shoulder some more of those burdens together."

"Agreed. Call her." LaF nodded. "And we're not just saying that because Geordie Shore is about to start."

"Oh lord, what's happened to you?" Laura laughed.

"I don't know, Laura. I don't know." LaF groaned.

"Okay guys, go enjoy your trashy British TV. I'll go call her." Laura shook her head. "And thanks again for hearing out my life troubles."

"It makes a good filler between trashy shows." LaF grinned.

"Bye, sweetie." Perry waved, and they disappeared. Laura let out a sigh. She sure was grateful for her friends even if they were far away. But she really did need a closer friend. Carmilla fit the bill.

Laura picked up her phone, which she had put Carmilla's number in as soon as she had gotten up to her apartment the night before. She was afraid the number would smudge.

She felt nervous calling Carmilla. Not in the same way she had been nervous to call Danny. It was more of an excited nervous. Laura chalked it up to the fact that she now knew that Carmilla wrote a book that's very important to Laura – a thought that was still pretty intimidating.

Despite her apprehensions, she dialed the number.

" **Considering I haven't given my new number out to anyone yet, you're either some scam calling me to tell me I won a cruise, or you're the delightful little creampuff which I have found myself sharing strikingly similar life situations with.** "

Carmilla's voice came through the receiver as cool as ever.

Laura tried her hardest to hold back her giggles. "Congratulations! You have won a Caribbean cruise! …I'm kidding, please don't hang up."

" **I hope you don't write the humour for that website of yours**." Carmilla sighed, causing Laura to scrunch up her nose.

"You're as cheery as ever." Laura commented.

" **I try my best**." Carmilla teased, and Laura rolled her eyes. Was this really the woman she wanted to be friends with?

Yes.

" **So, to what do I owe the pleasure**?" Carmilla questioned, her voice low and crackly.

"Well, last night was really-" Laura had to stop herself from saying nice, "- _enjoyable_ , so I was thinking that, maybe, if you wanted to, we could hang out again."

" **If you're offering to buy us drinks again, Cupcake, I won't complain**." Carmilla stated. Laura felt herself blush.

"Actually I was thinking we could do something else. You know, add a little variety." Laura suggested.

" **What did you have in mind**?" Carmilla inquired. Laura took a deep breath.

"You see, there was this thing I wanted to do with Danny, but, you know… her loss could be your gain." Laura rambled out. "Would you like to see a Soulpepper play and walk through the Distillery District sometime this week?"

There's silence over the phone for exactly seven and a half of Laura's heartbeats.

" **I think I would like that very much**." Carmilla murmured, and Laura let out a breath she didn't know she was holding. " **Just let me figure out around my work schedule and I'll let you know**."

"Oh, you're going back to your bartending job?" Laura questioned. She heard a low, fleeting laugh on the other end.

" **I believe I shall**." Carmilla expressed.

"If I were to drop by when you were working, would you give me a discount on a drink?" Laura requested.

" **No promises, cutie. But you're welcome at the bar any time**." Carmilla chuckled, and Laura grinned.

"Okay, great!" Laura laughed. "Oh, and no pressure with the hang-out thing to talk about anything… serious. It can just be a casual night out."

" **Now you're talking my language**." Carmilla noted, and Laura could picture her winking.

"Yep. Just hanging out, as friends." Laura nodded.

" **Friends, huh**?" Carmilla questioned. " **And here I was thinking I was your counsellor**."

Laura froze. Did she go too far labeling them as friends? Did Carmilla really want to be friends with someone who would remind her of her affair? Laura hadn't thought about it.

"Well, I mean… if you're cool with being friends, like, totally up to you." Laura fumbled out. She heard another light laugh.

" **We'll see, creampuff**." Carmilla said teasingly. " **I'll text you later with a good night for me**."

"Okay, great. Thanks. I'll, uh, talk to you later, then." Laura rushed out.

" **Bye, Laura**."

Laura quickly hung up, a rush flooding over her. Why had Laura turned into such an awkward mess? She had to pull herself together. Carmilla just made her so anxious. But in a good way? Yeah, a good way. It was nice to know she was making a new friend.

And yeah, Carmilla was a bit of an asshole sometimes.

But she was nice.

* * *

"I liked it! It was different from their usual productions." Laura exclaimed as they left the theatre.

"The sound design was interesting." Carmilla mused.

"Yeah. I mean, it was strange juxtaposition. Current top 40s pop coupled with a period piece? I don't know what the director was thinking." Laura shook her head.

"I'm sure they had their reasons. Sometimes creators have their own intentions that are too profound for others to truly grasp the gravity of." Carmilla explained.

"Are you talking about the play anymore, or the critics of your book?" Laura teased. Carmilla's expression hadn't changed, but she only released a grunt in response. Laura worried she had hit a soft spot.

"Where to now, cutie?" Carmilla asked before Laura could apologize. At least she still seemed up for spending time together.

"Just… walking around the winter market. Is that okay?" Laura inquired.

"Sounds delightful." Carmilla sighed. "You know, you don't need to keep checking in if I really want to be here. You've been doing that all night. I'm not humouring you, Cupcake. I wouldn't be here at all unless I wanted to be."

"Oh." Laura's cheek glowed crimson. "Good."

"C'mon, lets go take a look at those sparkly lights you seem to enjoy so much." Carmilla tugged on Laura's arm, who followed with a large grin spread across her face.

Laura marvelled at the decorations and bright, gleaming fixtures that were strewn across the cobble-stoned alleyways. It was like a clash of the old and modern. Carmilla walked along the vendor tables slowly, viewing the selection of homemade ornaments, figurines, clothes and candies. Laura was so preoccupied with the lights that when she turned back to Carmilla, she was surprised to see a glittery cupcake ornament dangling in her face.

"Merry Christmas, Cupcake." Carmilla smirked.

"Carm… you didn't have to buy me anything." Laura gaped. Carmilla raised her eyebrow, but if she had any problems with the nickname, she didn't say anything.

"It's just an ornament. This way I got to support a local business and you got a fitting decoration for your tree at home. It's a win-win." She shrugged. If Laura wasn't sure her tear ducts were frozen, she might have welled up.

"Thank you." Laura smiled while taking the ornament, but soon deflated. "Actually, I… I don't have my tree up." She mumbled. "I'd usually have it up as soon as possible. I love Christmas, but I guess I don't feel very festive this year."

Carmilla gave Laura that same melted look and Laura silently cursed herself. She said she wasn't going to discuss anything serious.

"Well, now you have an excuse to put your tree up, should the mood strike you. Give that little guy a home." Carmilla gestured to the ornament. Laura's smile returned, but a shiver came along with it and her teeth chattered. Carmilla, almost as if it were instinctual, moved closer to Laura. "Want to take a break from the cold and grab a coffee?"

"Not a 'real' drink this time?" Laura teased.

"Not this time. Alcohol only gives the illusion of warmth." Carmilla chuckled. "I'd rather not catch a cold for the holidays."

Carmilla led them to a nearby café and they managed to get a seat by the window. Carmilla got a straight black coffee while Laura of course ordered the sweetest drink full of caramel on the menu.

"This is probably my favourite part of the city, even if it's outrageously commercialized more than usual this time of year." Carmilla observed the commotion outside the window. "A slice of the past preserved in an age of LED, steel, and high rises."

"I feel the same!" Laura exclaims. "I actually… BuzzFeed Canada did a thing where they had their employees list off their favourite areas of Toronto and this area was my number one." She admitted shyly. Carmilla smirked and for a moment Laura thought she was about to tease her again, but she surprised her.

"The company isn't half bad, either." Carmilla gave Laura a bemused look before sipping at her coffee. Laura's mouth hung open for a moment.

"Seriously… thank you for agreeing to come with me today." Laura sighed.

"Laura, how many times to I have to tell you-"

"I know." Laura groaned. "You _wanted_ to come. It's just, last time I asked someone to come with me here, I got stood up and found out they were cheating on me a few days later. And now I'm left wondering if they ever enjoyed my company at all. I can't help having a huge blow to my self-esteem over this." Laura ranted. "Oh god, and now I'm bringing up the affair after I said this was going to be just casual and…"

"Hey," Carmilla stopped Laura with a hand over hers on the table. "You can talk about whatever you want."

"Really?" Laura questioned.

"Really." Carmilla nodded.

"Okay." Laura relaxed back in her seat. "That means a lot. I know this might be exhausting for you, but the only other people I have to talk to are busy in England. That's why I came to find you."

"Believe it or not, I know what you mean." Carmilla relented. "I have a sister I would usually talk to. But she's in Morocco."

"You have a sister?" Laura inquired. It suddenly flashed across her mind that she really didn't know too much about Carmilla, after all.

"Mattie." Carmilla formed a fond smile. "She's probably better off in Morocco right now. If I told her about the affair while she was here, Clifford the Big Red Asshole would be receiving pieces of Ell in the mail."

"Yeah… despite everything, that probably wouldn't be very good." Laura grimaced.

"Mhm. It'd sure be a shame to bail my sister out of jail." Carmilla joked, and she must catch Laura's surprised look. "Come on, Cupcake. Don't give me that look. I don't actually want Ell dead, even if I don't particularly care for her."

"I get that. Sometimes I flip between wanting to strangle Danny and then remembering I'm still in love with her. Or, who I thought she was. It's really confusing." Laura mumbled.

"Must be tough." Carmilla stated. "I haven't been in love with Ell for around two years."

Laura's eyebrows shot up in surprise.

"Wait, really?" She gasped.

"Like I told you before, creampuff, we married young. People change a lot in that time. Feelings change." Carmilla shrugged. "Ell probably hadn't loved me even longer. If at all. I wouldn't have called it a happy marriage, even before the affair."

"Then why did you stay married for so long?" Laura asked, hoping she wasn't crossing boundaries. Carmilla furrowed her brow.

"It's… complicated." She gingerly sipped at her coffee while she pondered how to answer the question. "I guess I was sort of dependant on her. I suppose that's the hardest part of all this. I don't… I don't really know how to function without her anymore." Carmilla's voice cracked and she released a nervous laugh, turning away. "Damn, Cupcake. I don't know how you got me to talk about this."

"You don't need to." Laura blurted out. "I mean, I don't want you to feel pressured into sharing anything you don't want to."

Carmilla gave Laura a long look. Her eyes seemed to search for something in Laura's features, link she was trying to figure something out.

"No, it's okay. I've made it this far." Carmilla sighed, her hands clasping around her coffee. "She just handled things, I suppose. She'd know where we were going. She dealt with all our financial stuff. It was like she had my life planned out to a T."

"And now that she's gone, even though you didn't love her, you feel…" Laura trailed off, not wanting to label Carmilla's emotions for her.

"Lost." Carmilla confirmed, shaking her head. "I'd be lying if I said I wasn't struggling. Taking three weeks off work was such a dumbass move."

"Do you have anyone else you can turn to other than your sister? Parents?" Laura questioned. Carmilla released a hollow laugh.

"I never knew my dad. And my mom… well, you read all about her in my book." Carmilla muttered. Laura's eyes widened.

"I- I didn't want to assume." Laura flushed. Carmilla leaned her chin on a fist.

"I took some creative liberties. My life wasn't that interesting, after all." Carmilla droned. "But yes, I based the home environment off my own relationship with my mother. She was less than thrilled when she discovered my sexuality."

"I don't know what to say." Laura frowned, and Carmilla waved her off.

"Hey, at least my experiences reached you in the University library. At least there's that." Carmilla offered a small smile. "Anyway, Ell and I eloped to get away from her eventually. That's why we married so young. I haven't spoken to my mother since."

"Has she ever tried to contact you? To apologize?" Laura questioned. Carmilla shook her head.

"According to Mattie, when it comes to me, my mother believes I never existed." Carmilla said, her voice somewhat solemn. Laura bit her lip, pausing a moment.

"Then you're better off without her." Laura claimed. Carmilla looked at Laura in surprise.

"Wow, you're the first person who hasn't said something along the lines of 'she's your mother, just give her some time, she still loves you deep down'." Carmilla mocked in a whiney voice.

"Please. She was hardly a mother to you." Laura scoffed, crossing her arms. "S-sorry. Maybe it's not my place to say."

Carmilla gave Laura a half smile. "No, I appreciate it. Getting away from my mother is one thing I don't regret about my life, and it's nice to not be told I should feel guilty about it."

"I'm a firm believer in found family. Sometimes the family you're placed with sucks, but that doesn't mean there aren't people out there to support you." Laura reached across to take Carmilla's hand. "Like… me. If you ever need any help, I'm here."

Carmilla scowled, but she didn't retract her hand. "I don't want to be turned into a charity case, Cupcake."

"And I'd never turn you into one!" Laura promised. "I just mean that whatever you feel you need, you've got me. Whether that's to talk or… you need help building a shelf from Ikea, I'm your girl." Laura tilted her head. "After all. That's the point of this arrangement, right? To support each other?"

"I suppose so, buttercup." Carmilla visually softened, her warmth returning. "And same to you. Whatever you need. You've got me, now."

Laura brightened considerably, but couldn't help but notice the shiny glaze that ghosted over Carmilla's eyes. Carmilla blinked rapidly, clearing her throat and shaking her head.

"Anyway, enough about my family. What about yours?" Carmilla inquired. Laura's smile faltered. "Sorry, is that too personal…?"

"No. After all, you shared so much with me tonight. It's just…" Laura blew out a breath. "My mom died when I was young. Breast cancer. I don't have much of a memory of her. But my dad…" Laura bit her lip, turning away. She felt Carmilla squeeze her hand, which Laura hadn't even realized she was still holding. It gave her the strength to continue. "He's been in the hospital for just over a year now. He does house remodelling, and, well, long story short, someone was careless and he had long-term asbestos exposure. He can't breathe on his own very well anymore."

"I'm sorry, Cupcake." Carmilla expressed sincerely. Laura swallowed down yet another lump in her throat. She was tired of lumps. She forced a smile.

"What a pair we are, huh?" Laura chuckled. Carmilla matched her smile.

"A completely pathetic duo." Carmilla joked. Laura laughed, shaking her head.

"So much about this being a casual hang out." Laura mumbled.

"At least the play was nice." Carmilla teased. Laura released Carmilla's hand to shove her gently.

"Jerk." Laura rolled her eyes. Carmilla let out a soft chuckle, taking Laura's hand back into hers. Laura looked down at their conjoined hands and she gave it another squeeze. "Hey, in the spirit of trying to just have a casual hang out… I'm spending Christmas Day at the hospital, but are you doing anything Christmas Eve?"

"I offered to bartend that day, but I'm sure I can convince my beefcake of a co-worker to take the evening shift for me." Carmilla smiled.

"Great. So… my place? I promise I'll put up a tree and put the little cupcake ornament on it and everything." Laura stated. Carmilla leaned forward, her fingers drumming the side of her face.

"Will there be beer?"

* * *

Laura shifted the cupcake ornament to another branch for what might've been the 100th time. She wanted it visible at all points in her apartment living room. She wanted Carmilla to know she was using it. After all, it's the whole reason Laura even dragged the tree from her storage unit to put it up in the first place.

She stepped back and, feeling satisfied, went to go check on dinner. When Laura insisted she'd cook them dinner, Carmilla informed her she had an "aversion to dairy" and warned Laura not to go to crazy with dinner.

So of course she cooked an entire turkey dinner. Carmilla would just have to deal with the copious amounts of leftovers she was going to be sent home with. Laura would rest a little easier knowing Carmilla would at least be well-fed until New Year's.

Laura shuffled back into the living room after decided everything was cooking well. She clapped her hands together and looked around. Spick and span, save for some of the Christmas decorations Laura had put up. She hoped Carmilla would appreciate it.

At seven o'clock on the dot, Laura's apartment buzzer went off.

"Hello?" Laura asked into the intercom.

" **Were you aware that your little apartment card still said Hollis/Lawrence on it, Cupcake**?" Carmilla 's voice came through the intercom. Laura flushed.

"No, it slipped my mind. Were you aware you always greet me with a snarky comment?" Laura replied. She heard Carmilla chuckle.

" **Slipped my mind**." Carmilla sighed. " **Am I allowed up or what**?"

Laura rolled her eyes and pressed the button to unlock the downstairs door. She rushed back to the kitchen and started pulling the food out. She had just placed the last of the food on her kitchen table when she heard a knock at the door.

She stopped near the door to pull a sequined Santa hat on and opened the door with a gigantic smile on.

Carmilla wore a skeptical expression at the sight of Laura.

"Really?" Carmilla commented, tapping the little pom-pom of Laura's hat with her finger.

"It's Christmas." Laura grinned. "I have one for you, if you want."

"I'll pass." Carmilla rolled her eyes, but she looked at Laura with amusement.

"Suit yourself." Laura stepped aside to let Carmilla in. She heard Carmilla inhale deeply.

"It smells delicious in here. What did you-" Carmilla caught sight of the table of food through Laura's kitchen doorway. "God damnit, Laura."

"What? This way you'll have tons of leftovers!" Laura exclaimed. "Think of all the turkey sandwiches."

Carmilla turned to Laura with a frown. "Laura… if this is about my… situation, I _can_ still feed myself, you know."

"No, that's not it. Although I do like knowing you're eating." Laura looked at Carmilla sympathetically. "I told you I'm not turning you into a charity case. It's just…" Laura shifted her feet. "I had this food saved in our freezer for a few months. _My_ freezer. I was looking forward to Christmas dinner with Danny, but…" She bit her lip, and shrugged. "Anyway, I know you told me not to go crazy with dinner but I figured it'd be a waste, and it'd be even more of a waste to throw away what we don't eat, so-"

"Cupcake." Carmilla stopped Laura, a hand on her arm. "Thank you. I can't wait to try your cooking."

Laura gave Carmilla a gentle smile. "Promise not to make fun of me if the turkey's a little dry?" She requested.

"No promises." Carmilla winked. "So where's the beer?"

"Oh, right, I'll grab one for you. Just take a plate and help yourself." Laura ordered, shuffling off to the fridge. Carmilla followed her, and they maneuvered around each other in the kitchen. "Oh, the mashed potatoes are dairy free, by the way."

"You are too much, cutie." Carmilla sighed, shaking her head and plopping a spoonful on her plate.

"Just make yourself at home, okay? I'll be out in a second." Laura said, rummaging through the drawers for the bottle opener. She heard Carmilla chuckle and when she looked up again, Carmilla was gone.

She quickly popped the caps off a couple beers and grabbed herself a plate of food. When she went back into the living room, Carmilla was still holding her plate and staring at Laura's bookshelf. She ran a finger down the spine of one of the books.

Queered And Feathered by C. Karnstein.

"Oh, yeah. After I read it in the library, I had to get my own copy." Laura blushed.

"I should thank you. You probably funded at least two or three coffees through my University career." Carmilla chuckled, looking at the book fondly. She transferred that look to Laura when she glanced up.

"Where'd you go?" Laura questioned, gesturing for them to both to sit down on the couch.

"Silas University." Carmilla answered as she sat down with her plate. Laura nearly choked on her food.

"That's where I went!" Laura exclaimed. Carmilla looked at Laura with surprise.

"Is that so? Hmm. And it's such a small school. We must've missed each other." Carmilla shrugged. "I only went for a year before I dropped out. For creative writing."

"Why'd you drop out?" Laura inquired.

"I just… came to the conclusion that there was no point." Carmilla mumbled, poking at her food. She looked up at the beer Laura had left for her on the coffee table. She reached out and took a sip.

She sputtered with a look of disgust.

"Ugh! What is this?!" Carmilla grimaced looking at the label.

"Gingerbread flavoured beer." Laura giggled.

"That's disgusting. When I came here, I didn't think you'd try to poison me." Carmilla scowled.

"Oh, shut up. Don't like it, don't drink it." Laura nudged Carmilla playfully. Carmilla glared at Laura, but she shrugged and took another sip. "See? It's not so bad."

"If you like the taste of kerosene." Carmilla rolled her eyes. She put the beer down in favour of her food. "You're lucky your cooking is far better than your taste in beer."

"I'll take that as a compliment." Laura smiled smugly. "Maybe next time I'm at the bar you can serve me some of your favourite beers."

"Just as long as you don't act like some of the customers I've had this week, cutie." Carmilla groaned.

"Ooh, tell me all about it." Laura leaned in close, shovelling potatoes into her mouth.

Carmilla and Laura swapped work stories while they ate. Carmilla shared the rowdy, drunken, weird, and even kind customers she had served in the past. Laura described the antics she and her co-workers got into at the office when they were filming videos. Both of them nearly choked on their food from laughing at least once.

Laura noted that the apartment felt fuller than it had in weeks. No, longer than that. It felt fuller than when Danny ever lived there, when Danny was anything but present.

"Laura, I swear, I can't eat any more." Carmilla groaned.

"Alright. The rest is going into take-out containers." Laura announced, jumping up.

"Fine, but you're keeping 50%." Carmilla argued. "And I'm helping with the dishes."

"Aw, Carm, you don't have to do that." Laura smiled.

"I _want_ to." Carmilla affirmed.

Laura didn't argue, and they cleaned up the kitchen together.

"So I have some classic Christmas movies we can watch, if you're interested. And I hope you're interested, because that's all I have planned." Laura stated as she finished up packed the last of the leftovers into the fridge.

"How prepared of you." Carmilla chuckled, drying a dish. "I'm up for anything, creampuff."

"Good." Laura smiled, helping Carmilla dry the last of the dishes.

As they went back into the living room, Laura caught sight of the gift bag sitting by the front door.

"What's that?" Laura questioned. Carmilla froze immediately, and Laura caught the pink in Carmilla's cheeks.

"Oh, that?" Carmilla cleared her throat. "That's, um, that's a Christmas gift. For you."

Laura's heart nearly burst open.

"But I thought the ornament was my Christmas gift." Laura noted.

"I figured you deserved more than that." Carmilla muttered, not meeting Laura's eye. Her whole face was red by now. "You can open it, if you want."

"You shouldn't have." Laura sighed, picking up the bag.

"I wanted to." Carmilla repeated from earlier. She still wouldn't meet Laura's eye.

"Carmilla Karnstein, are you perhaps feeling _shy_?" Laura teased. Carmilla let out a huff, crossing her arms.

"Oh just open it before I change my mind." Carmilla grumbled. Laura giggled at her reaction, tearing the tissue paper out of the bag.

"Oh, Carm…" Laura breathed, pulling out a box with a picture of a TARDIS cookie jar splayed across the front. "I love it."

"Yeah. Well, you told me at the café that your favourite mug was from that Dr. Whatever show, and you also said you like cookies, so I figured it'd be stupid not to have the complete set." Carmilla muttered. Laura's heart swelled to bursting once again.

"Carmilla…" Laura gasped. They'd known each other for a short time, yet Carmilla had already picked up so much about Laura.

"There's, um, another thing. In the bag." Carmilla mumbled. Laura looked in and pulled out a keyboard cushion. "It's stupid. It's just for resting your wrists on when you type. I know your job has you doing that a lot, and it'd suck if you got carpal tunnel, so-"

Carmilla was interrupted by Laura's arms being thrown around her neck and being pulled into a tight hug. At first she tensed, but soon very easily relaxed into Laura's embrace and returned the hug, her arms tenderly cradling the small of Laura's back.

"Thank you so much." Laura whispered into Carmilla's ear. "It means a lot that you thought of me."

"No problem, cutie." Carmilla sighed, resting her cheek against Laura's head. Laura pulled away slowly, but kept her hands on Carmilla's shoulders. Laura gave her a bright smile.

"I actually got you something, too." Laura admitted, and now it was her turn to blush. "I was going to wait until midnight, but if we're already exchanging gifts…"

She walked to the tree, where there was a lone gift lying underneath.

" _You_ shouldn't have, Cupcake." Carmilla sighed.

" _I wanted_ too, Carmilla." Laura reiterated with a smirk. She handed over the bound leather book, tied with a red ribbon.

"A journal?" Carmilla questioned, taking the book and untying the ribbon.

"Mhm. In case you ever felt like writing again. It's good for jotting down ideas. Well, it can be used for anything, I guess. But I took the liberty of filling the first few pages." Laura sucked in a nervous breath as Carmilla let the journal fall open to the first page. "I photocopied in a bunch of reviews for your book. I pulled them off of GoodReads, Amazon, other sites. You were so convinced nobody really read your book, and you were still bitter about those critics, so…"

"Laura…" Carmilla breathed, staring down at the page.

"See? They go all the way back from the release date to just a week ago when I printed them out. There's a bunch more, but these are my favourites. I figured they'd serve as a good reminder of how many lives you've touched, and maybe fuel some future inspiration." Laura explained, watching Carmilla carefully.

Carmilla's jaw was set tight, and her expression stayed stoic as she read. She didn't make any move to acknowledge what Laura had said, or to turn the page. Laura tilted her head, trying to catch Carmilla's eye.

"Carm?" Laura whispered.

Laura's ringtone went off on the side table which snapped her attention away.

"Oh, um, sorry. This might be work. Just, uh, read through those, if you want. I'll be back." Laura rushed out, grabbing her phone and scuffling off to her bedroom. She closed the door behind her, really hoping that BuzzFeed had a good reason to bother her at nearly nine o'clock on Christmas Eve. "Hello?"

" **Congratulations! You've won a cruise to the Caribbean** -"

Laura hung up with a forceful press of her screen. God damnit.

"Sorry about that. It was just one of those scammers… Carm?" Laura asked into the empty living room. But it was just that. Empty.

Had she left? Had her present offended her that badly?

She noticed Carmilla's unfinished beer from the table was gone, as well as the journal. She scanned the room until she looked through the sliding glass door leading to her balcony. Laura breathed a sigh of relief when she saw Carmilla out there, sitting on the floor by the edge and dangling her legs through the railing bars.

"Carmilla, what are you doing out here? It's freezing." Laura commented as she pushed herself out into the cool air.

"I needed some air. Sorry." Carmilla answered in a monotone voice. Laura hugged herself and slid next to Carmilla, dangling her legs through the bars as well. Carmilla was staring at the book while she sipped at her so-called disgusting beer.

"Was the present too much?" Laura asked in a meek voice. Carmilla finally looked up at Laura, and she caught the sheen of tears in Carmilla's eyes thanks to the light flooding from inside.

"Laura… this is the most meaningful gift anyone has ever given me. Ever." Carmilla said sincerely. "I can't thank you enough. I'll always treasure it."

Laura released a sigh of relief.

"Good, because it took forever to get the photocopier settings at the office correct so the reviews would fit on each page." Laura claimed. Carmilla gave a small smile, and placed the journal beside her. She looked ahead over the city, still sipping her beer.

"Laura, can you be honest with me about something?" Carmilla requested.

"Of course." Laura nodded, looking at Carmilla attentively.

"What were you told about me when you got my address?" Carmilla questioned. "Please be honest. I know Ell must've told your ex something about me. I'm sure that would've been relayed to you."

Laura took a deep breath. "Honestly? I was told… that you were an awful person to Ell." She whispered. Carmilla was still a moment, and then she nodded slowly.

"And what do you believe?" Carmilla inquired, and her voice quivered from either the cold or her concern for Laura's answer.

"I think the warnings of a couple of people who cheated on their wives shouldn't be taken at face-value." Laura answered. Again, Carmilla nodded, and Laura felt Carmilla tangle their fingers together.

"I've been thinking a lot… about my relationship with Ell." Carmilla started softly. "About how she handled everything. I've been thinking lately that it was more than that. That she dictated everything I did without me even realizing it. It was like she controlled every step I ever made."

Carmilla took another long sip of beer, and Laura keep quiet, giving Carmilla time to sort out her thoughts. Carmilla eventually released a shaky sigh.

"I met her when we were twelve, and after that I don't remember any decision being mine. At least, not truly mine. She'd always have some influence. Except with my book. I really wanted to write that. But she didn't like that I wrote. She thought it was pointless." Carmilla rested her head against the bars. "After I got it published, I was so nervous I didn't look at any reviews. Then Ell approached me, all doe-eyed, and showed me the worst reviews from different publications. She made me believe people _hated_ it, and that no one bought it."

Laura shifted closer so that their shoulders were touching, and she ran her thumb over Carmilla's smooth skin of her hand.

"Eventually I decided to just give up writing. After all, she told me the whole time that it would lead nowhere." Carmilla unleashed a hollow laugh. "The eloping, that was her idea. Don't get me wrong, I did want to get away from my mother. I had a plan to just go away and start school. Never look back. Ell convinced me that to truly push my mother away forever was if I married her. So I did, and then I was hers." Carmilla croaked. "For what she needed me for, I don't know. Maybe she just needed someone to control. And now here I am, a helpless mess because I don't know how to function on a human level."

Carmilla glanced up at Laura, and Laura saw the tears rolling down her cheeks, and the tremble in her lips.

"And then I see you, and I know you're suffering, too. I'd never discount that. But you're still keeping your life together. And as awful as the Red Giant was to you at the end, I'm thinking, huh, maybe a normal relationship shouldn't leave someone as shattered as I am after it ends. Especially someone I wasn't even in love with." Carmilla whimpered.

Laura, unable to just sit there anymore, leaned forward and took Carmilla in her arms. Carmilla coughed out a small sob and buried her head into Laura's neck. Laura sat there, rocking Carmilla gently and stroking her hair until her breath became less ragged. She eventually felt Carmilla relax and Carmilla pulled away, wiping her eyes with her sleeve.

"Sorry, Cupcake." Carmilla sniffled.

"It's okay." Laura squeezed Carmilla's arm. "And you're okay. You're better without her. You'll be fine without her."

Carmilla nodded slowly, and then she let out an emotional snicker.

"So Ell told your Amazonian ex-wife that I was awful to her, huh?" Carmilla breathed. "I'm guessing she's a white knight type."

Laura furrowed her brow, thinking back to all the times Danny had pulled her away from college parties early, or just wouldn't let her doing anything too dangerous. A quality Laura had actually found a little annoying.

"Yeah, she was." Laura confirmed.

"Well, that explains it." Carmilla stated.

"Explains what?" Laura questioned, tilting her head.

"I've been trying to figure out… who the hell would ever choose to be with someone else when they already had you." Carmilla answered plainly.

Laura felt all the air rush out from her lungs. That was the most unbelievably sweet thing anyone had ever said about her. Even Danny's wedding vows weren't that profound. And it was exactly what Laura needed to hear – that she was someone worth being with.

"Carm…" Laura croaked out, and she felt that familiar lump in here throat. Except this time, she didn't want it to go away.

"After Ell and the affair, I truly wanted to push everyone away. I didn't want anyone else in my life, so I was a bitch to everyone, hoping that would be enough of a barrier." Carmilla laced her fingers back with Laura's hand. "You ruined everything."

"I would say I'm sorry, but I'm not." Laura replied honestly.

Carmilla turned her head, her eyes still glistening, and under the night sky and the pale-yellow light from her apartment, Laura was reminded just how utterly gorgeous Carmilla was. Unbelievably so.

"Me too, cutie." Carmilla breathed, a small smile creasing her face. Laura's heart swelled, and she returned the smile ten-fold.

"Merry Christmas, Carm." Laura leaned forward, leaving a peck on Carmilla's cheek. She placed her head on Carmilla's shoulder, and together they looked over the city.

"Merry Christmas, Laura."

* * *

Laura woke up that morning in her bed, and tangled up in Carmilla's arms. It was the first time since The Moment that Laura had gotten a full-night's rest. She figured it was due to her bed not feeling barren for once. Laura was a cuddler after all, and her yellow pillow could only satisfy her so much.

She found that Carmilla was also a cuddler, and she was much better than a pillow.

Laura had asked Carmilla after the third Christmas movie, when they had left their emotional moment on the balcony behind.

"Already trying to get me into your bed, cutie?" Carmilla teased, causing Laura to chuck a piece of popcorn at her.

"Again, get over yourself." She rolled her eyes. Laura's face fell as she viewed the TV again, the credits of Rudolph still playing as Santa handed out the misfit toys, and she grew serious. "Maybe it's stupid, but I don't want to wake up Christmas morning alone."

Carmilla had been silent on the other side of the couch, and then,

"I call the left side of the bed."

Laura was glad Carmilla agreed, but not just because it meant Laura didn't have to wake up alone. As true as that was, she also didn't want Carmilla to have to spend the night alone. Not after making the realization that Ell had manipulated her throughout their entire relationship. Laura could tell Carmilla was shaken by the whole thing. She couldn't imagine the thoughts flying through Carmilla's head as she recalled every situation and tried to decipher how Ell how influenced her thoughts, actions, and emotions.

So Laura held her tight that night.

If Carmilla was still struggling to cope in the morning, she didn't seem it. She stretched dramatically and greeted Laura with a "Morning, Cupcake."

It was hard for Laura to ignore how good that felt.

She watched Carmilla that morning, dressed in shorts and a loose-fitting t-shirt Laura had given her. She watched as Carmilla leaned against the kitchen table, sipping at the TARDIS mug of coffee. She watched as Carmilla's messy bed-head spilled around her shoulders, and how her collarbone underneath the curls shifted from Carmilla's soft breathing. She watched Carmilla smile at her with such warmth as Laura made them both dairy-free pancakes.

And Laura noted how natural it felt to have Carmilla there. She just fit.

She was sad and felt her chest pang with longing when Carmilla left with an armful of leftover turkey dinner.

"Tell your dad I said hi, and Merry Christmas." Carmilla wished.

"I will." Laura promised. "We'll see each other again soon."

"I hope so." Carmilla sighed. She stared at Laura and bit her lip in a way that made Laura's cheeks flush. And then she was gone.

And okay, maybe Laura could admit she had a tiny crush on Carmilla. But how could she not? Carmilla was smart, eloquent, beautiful, gentle when she wanted to be…

But now really wasn't the time for such feelings. So she pushed them aside.

"Merry Christmas, Natalie!" Laura grinned as she approached the desk on the hospital floor. The nurse, Natalie, looked up with a smile.

"Merry Christmas, Laura! You here to see your dad?" Natalie inquired. The nurses on this floor knew Laura pretty well by now.

"Sure am." Laura nodded, signing her name into the guest book.

"Good. He's been looking forward to your visit all morning." Natalie smiled. She looked around, as if expecting something else. "Hey, I haven't seen your wife around in the while. I feel like she hasn't visited with you in months."

Laura felt as if a weight crushed her spirit. Of course, Danny had stopped visiting with Laura months ago. She had said she was just busy with training, but now Laura knew better. Danny probably couldn't face the father of the woman she was cheating on.

"Actually we're, um, we're separated now." Laura mumbled, and Natalie's jaw dropped.

"Oh… Oh, I'm so sorry." Natalie frowned.

"It's okay. I'm dealing." Laura sighed. "I'll see you around today."

"Of course." Natalie gave Laura a pitying smile before she walked off.

Nothing like a big fat reminder of your situation on Christmas.

She missed Carmilla.

"Pumpkin!" Her dad wheezed out, sitting up in his bed with a giant grin on his face.

"Merry Christmas, dad!" Laura grinned back, wrapping him up in a hug. She was careful not to hit the breathing tubes he was attached to.

"Merry Christmas, honey bunches." Her dad exclaimed. Laura stepped back with her nose scrunched up. Did everyone important in her life name her after edible things? "You look well."

"Not as well as you." Laura chuckled, placing a hand on his shoulder.

"Oh, stop." He rolled his eyes in a way that reminded Laura much of herself. He gave her a serious look, then. "But honestly, honey. You look well. I was worried. I figured this Christmas would be hard on you. I don't like to think of you being all alone."

Laura let out a sigh. Right to business, then.

"I haven't been alone, actually." Laura stated, taking a seat next to the bed. "I've had Carmilla."

He raised his eyebrows in surprise.

"You mean the other wife? So you've still been meeting her." He nodded slowly. "Good. That's good. Is she nice?"

Laura chewed her lip, because nice just didn't cut it anymore.

"She's fantastic, dad." Laura admitted. "We spent last night together. And the morning."

He gave her a knowing look. "I'm glad. Nothing's better than spending Christmas in the warm embrace of a woman."

"Dad," Laura scoffed. "It's not like that."

"My point still stands. I know I enjoy the company of the nurses here." He stated, and Laura gaped.

"Dad! I hope you're not treating the nurses here with disrespect." Laura scolded.

"And disappoint my feminist daughter? Never!" He teased, but was then was wracked with a fit of violent coughing. Laura reached out, concerned, until the fit passed.

"See. This is what happens when you your chase nurses." Laura chided. Her dad released a chuckle.

"I'm just happy you weren't alone. I'm happy you have Carmilla." He nodded. "She's important to you, right?"

"Yes." Laura admitted.

"As in, _really_ important?"

"Dad." Laura glared. "Don't you think it's a little early for me to think about dating again?"

"Why not?" He asked, shifting toward her. "I know it's a complicated situation. But if this whole experience has taught me anything, it's to not deny happiness when it's presented to you. I didn't want to date anyone after we lost your mother. And now I'm here and I can't date anyone, even if I wanted to."

"Dad…" Laura muttered guiltily, looking at her hands. "I just… I don't know if I'm ready."

"Well when you feel ready, don't forget to allow yourself to be happy." He expresses. "For example, if a nurse happened to get a little frisky around me, I certainly wouldn't deny that happiness."

"Dad."

"What? Imagine if you had a nurse for a step-mother? I'd never have to worry about you getting hurt ever again!"

"Oh my god."

* * *

Carmilla couldn't get out of work for New Year's Eve, so Laura decided to drop in on her. After all, what better place to spend New Year's Eve than at a bar?

Of course, the flaw in her plan to surprise Carmilla was that it was _New Year's Eve_ , after all. The place was packed, and Carmilla was busy serving drink after drink to each person who came up to her at the bar.

Laura stayed near the bar, though, and she watched in awe as Carmilla swiftly mixed each drink while simultaneously filling a line of shot glasses, and then somehow getting each respective order to the correct person in the crowd and dealing with the money without missing a beat. It seemed exhausting. She didn't know how Carmilla did it.

Eventually Laura's attention was directed to the dance floor. It was getting late, so there were some tell-tale signs of sloppiness starting to appear. The bar wasn't usually one for dancing, but there was an exception for New Year's. Laura was sure Carmilla would have to start cutting people off, soon.

"What'll it be, Cupcake?"

That cool, low voice broke through the cheers and upbeat music. Laura turned to see Carmilla on the other side of the bar, smirking at her. Laura shot her a sheepish smile.

"A gingerbread beer, please." Laura teased, and Carmilla immediately scowled.

"If we served that shit here, I'd quit instantly. Financial stability be damned." Carmilla grimaced. She stooped down under the bar a moment and popped back up, placing a craft beer on the surface of the bar. "Here's a _real_ beer. First one's on the house."

"Are you doing that for all the customers?" Laura snickered.

"Just the cutest ones." Carmilla cocked an eyebrow. Laura giggled, looking away and trying to hide her blush by taking a sip of the beer. So it's not as sweet as Laura usually likes it, but it's not bad. "So what brings you here?"

"You." Laura replied honestly. The creases of Carmilla's lips slowly expanded, and now she turned her head to hide her blush. But Laura caught it. "You've seemed pretty busy, though."

"It's just one of those nights where everybody wants to get drunk. They all flood in the same time every year. Strange, isn't it?" Carmilla joked, looking over the packed bar. "Luckily there's a break in the crowd, so I get to talk to my favourite stalker."

"Will you ever let that go?' Laura huffed.

"Don't count on it, sundance." Carmilla laughed, and she softened. "Seriously. Thanks for coming by. It's nice to see you."

"Of course." Laura murmured as they shared a smile.

After that, the bar customers started to pick up again and Carmilla had to get back to work. Laura still watched her, but this time Carmilla would look over every so often and grin. There was almost a sense of relief in each smile at seeing Laura was still there.

As midnight approached, Laura did what most people do as a new year rolls around and reflected on her past year. It had been eventful, to say the least. She thought about how she didn't have Danny to kiss tonight. She thought about how this time last year, she had been at Disney World with Danny on their honeymoon. They were newly wed, in love, and had their whole lives stretched out in front of them.

How that changed so quickly.

Maybe it wasn't quick. Maybe it had been gradual. So gradual that Laura hadn't even realized that her and Danny had been drifting the whole time – that they hadn't been compatible after all and realized it too late. She had been so sure when Danny proposed. Now she wasn't sure about anything.

Like her feelings for Carmilla. She couldn't deny they were there. Every time Carmilla simply smiled at her, she felt her stomach twist like she was an infatuated teenager. But could she be sure what these feelings were? Maybe it was just her gratefulness at having someone to share in her woes with. What if she was just on a major rebound from Danny? What if she just craved human companionship to replace what she lost, and Carmilla provided that? She'd hate to think she'd ever use Carmilla like that. Carmilla had been used enough in her life.

"You're missing the countdown, cutie." Carmilla's voice broke through her thoughts, and Laura realized everyone was shouting out numbers. "What's going on in that beautiful head of yours?"

Laura looked over at Carmilla to see the concern in her eyes, and Laura's heart jumped into her throat.

"I was just… lamenting the fact that I'm missing out on a New Year's kiss this year." Laura mumbled. Carmilla's eyebrows pulled back, her lips parting slightly as she searched Laura. Laura's eyes floated down to Carmilla's lips, and they looked so soft in that moment, and inviting, and…

No, Laura, no. Bad thoughts.

" **Happy New Year**!"

Laura's attention was torn away by the deafening cry of the bar goers. As everyone started celebrating and bringing in the new year, Laura felt as Carmilla reached around and cupped Laura's face, pulling her back.

She was tugged close, and Laura had barely enough time to think before Carmilla's lips pressed gently to hers.

And they were as soft as she imagined.

Laura's eyes fluttered shut, but then the sensation of Carmilla's lips were gone as soon as they appeared. Laura felt like her chest was on fire, and her eyes slowly opened to meet Carmilla's. Carmilla still cupped Laura's face in her hands, and she gave Laura that warm look that Laura was so enamored with. Carmilla leaned back in, and Laura thought she was about to kiss her again, but instead she stopped short.

"Because you deserve everything you could ever want in life." Carmilla whispered. Her hands slipped away from Laura's cheeks, and a smile appeared on Carmilla's slightly-flushed face. "Happy New Year, creampuff."

Laura watched, frozen, as Carmilla went off to serve the customers wanting their first drink of the new year.

And Laura Hollis knew she was a goner.

* * *

Laura's first full-day back at work in the new year was a busy one. She had been charged to write three articles for the week revolving around Toronto queer culture and her expectation for LGBTQ+ representation in the media for the year to come. These weren't simple gif lists (but there would be gifs, as it is BuzzFeed), so Laura was hard at work. Luckily she didn't have any meetings at the office or videos to film, so she could stay home and use her swish new keyboard pad. Typing endlessly had never felt more comfortable.

It was around early afternoon when her apartment buzzer went off. She saved her work because _god knows how many posts she's lost in the past_ and went to the intercom to see who had swung by.

"Hello?" Laura asked into the intercom.

" **Hey**."

Laura paused, because she knew that voice, but it sounded so… down.

"…Carmilla?" Laura questioned.

" **Yeah**." Carmilla muttered. " **Can I come up**?"

"Oh! Yes, of course. Just a second." Laura pressed the button to unlock the door and turned frantically to her apartment. For some reason she felt the need to quickly clean up, even though everything was already pretty spotless.

If Carmilla made her anxious before, it only increased from her realizing just how in deep she was about Carmilla.

After a minute or two and a couple of breaths, a knock rang out in Laura's apartment. Laura smoothed out the front of her shirt and opened the door.

Any nervousness was replaced with concern at the sight of Carmilla's face. Her eyes were red and puffy, and she looked drained like she was carrying such a heavy burden.

"Carm… what happened?" Laura asked gently. Carmilla sniffed.

"Ell came by my place." Carmilla mumbled. "Usually I wouldn't have cared, but after my… epiphany about her, I just – I didn't expect to be affected this way. When I saw her, everything came rushing back, and…"

"Oh, Carm…" Laura threw her arms around her in a tight hug, holding her close. Carmilla's arms creeped up Laura's back and she buried her face into Laura's shoulder. She let out a long sigh, as if a wave of relief washed over her. Like she finally received something she had been craving.

"I just wanted to see you." Carmilla murmured against Laura's shoulder. Laura squeezed Carmilla tight, eyes twisted shut.

"What the hell did she want?" Laura questioned.

"Settlement issues." Carmilla grumbled. "Or lack there of. She told me she doesn't want a divorce."

Laura pulled back in shock.

"Are you freakin' kidding me?!" Laura gaped.

"I wish I was, Cupcake." Carmilla sighed, running a hand through her hair. Now Laura knew why she looked so drained. Laura took Carmilla by the wrists and pulled her into the apartment, letting the door close behind them.

"Why would she should do that?" Laura questioned incredulously. "I mean, don't get me wrong, you're amazing and anyone would be dumb to divorce you and-" Laura caught what she was spewing, and Carmilla raised an eyebrow. "…I just thought she was done torturing you."

"Me too." Carmilla mumbled. "Apparently not. She waltzed right back into my life and declared her terms. And the worst part is, I almost agreed." Carmilla flopped down onto the couch, looking spent. "That's when you know how sick it is. That she can manage to wrap me around her finger so easily. Sometimes I still feel the need to ask her permission for everything I do. Even after everything, it's crazy how she has her hooks in me."

"But you didn't agree." Laura sat next to Carmilla, placing a hand on her knee. "Do you know how amazing that is, Carm? You stood up to her anyway. I'm so proud of you."

Carmilla looked at Laura with a small smile. "Thanks, cutie." She breathed. "But she might get her way anyway, for a while. Without her cooperation, we'll have to be separated for a year before I can file for a divorce."

"But she had an affair, and you stopped living with her immediately. You can get the divorce early because of that. That's what I did with Danny. It's still in the processing stages, but it's on its way." Laura affirmed.

"Yes, but I'd need a lawyer, and I-" Carmilla swallowed hard, her voice fading to a whisper. "I just don't have that kind of money."

"Oh, Carmilla." Laura squeezed her knee. "I wish there was something I could do to help."

"And what makes you think you're not helping again?" Carmilla lets out a light laugh. Laura gives her a warm smile and gives Carmilla another hug, which Carmilla sinks into. Eventually she pulls away, wiping her eyes. "Anyway. Don't worry about me. I'll figure something out. I just thought I should drop by my support system."

"That's what I'm here for." Laura rubbed Carmilla's arm, giving her an encouraging look. Carmilla's face fell, and she looked guilty.

"I'm sorry I just showed up with no warning. You aren't busy, are you?" Carmilla inquired, and Laura waved her arm dismissively.

"I'm just writing some things for BuzzFeed. But please feel free to stay a while. I don't mind. Help yourself to the fridge. Make yourself at home. I have Netflix." Laura listed off.

"I do miss Netflix." Carmilla smiled. "Thanks again, Cupcake."

"Any time." Laura kissed the top of Carmilla's head before she overthought the motion and went back to her desk.

Laura actually rather enjoyed the resonance of what sounded like Jessica Jones in the background, along with Carmilla's soft clear of her throat every so often or the shift of the couch cushions under her. Sometimes she'd catch Carmilla walking by her to get a glass of water from the kitchen or to go to the bathroom, and they'd always shoot each other a smile. It was peaceful. Like white noise, except full of life.

At one point between episodes, Laura was halfway done writing about a future show that was rumoured to have a prominent queer main cast when she felt the back of her chair sink. Carmilla had leaned her arms on it and she placed her chin on Laura's shoulder. Laura felt the heat rush into her cheeks at the closeness and with how _good_ Carmilla smelled, but she kept typing away with Carmilla silently observing her.

"You're making me nervous." Laura said eventually.

"Why's that?"

"You're the one who wrote a wonderfully articulated book at 18. It's intimidating for you to look at my writing." Laura mumbled.

"Apples and oranges, Cupcake. We have different voices. I happen to like yours." Carmilla stated.

"Really?"

"Mhm." Carmilla nodded, her cheek brushing Laura's. "It's lighter than mine. More carefree. Refreshing."

"Thanks…" Laura murmured, turning back to her article. She went back to typing, and Carmilla continued to watch. Every so often Carmilla would whisper a little commentary under her breath about the topic Laura was typing about, and most of what she said made Laura giggle. Carmilla wouldn't make a bad BuzzFeed writer herself.

Laura couldn't even fathom how normal this felt. How Carmilla's presence just made sense. Like she was supposed to be there. She could see them like this in the future, Laura typing away while Carmilla was in the background, or there beside her observing her. Them sitting down to dinner together. Lounging on the couch. Talking about their days. Talking about life. Laying in bed. Their hands slowly moving over each other.

Laura had to stop herself from sucking in a sharp breath. She can't let her mind go there. She was still figuring everything out. She still wasn't ready. What if she was never ready? And Carmilla, what about her? Ell did a number on her. How could Laura expect Carmilla to jump in another relationship just like that?

"Cupcake," Carmilla got Laura's attention.

"Hmm?" Laura sighed.

"You haven't typed anything for about five minutes." Carmilla noted. Laura looked at her article where she had stopped mid-sentence. She hadn't realized she had zoned out for so long.

"Oh." She breathed, blushing.

"What's up?" Carmilla slinked her arms down, clasping her hands across Laura's chest. Laura was certain Carmilla could feel her heart pounding. "Writer's block?"

Laura licked her lips slowly, and she shut her eyes and suppressed a groan because she felt her mind tear her in two different directions.

"Do you think we'll ever heal?" Laura whispered. Carmilla didn't say anything for a moment, her arms tightening across Laura's chest and her head dipping lower into Laura's shoulder. Laura felt them release a deep breath in-sync with each other.

"I sure hope so."

* * *

 _Hi, is this Laura_?

The text Laura received made her scrunch her brow in confusion, mainly because the question came from Carmilla. Wouldn't she know who Laura is?

_Yes, why?_

Laura sent the reply and waited patiently for an explanation. Well, somewhat patiently. She was worried about what was going on with Carmilla.

_Oh, good! I didn't know for sure because your name in here is 'Cupcake'. Anyway, hi! This is Mel from the bar Carmilla works at. Don't know if you remember me, but she left her phone here by accident after her shift. If you're seeing her soon, would you mind picking it up and taking it to her? I'm sure she's frantically looking for it and obviously I can't contact her to tell her it's here_

Laura let out a sigh of relief. That's a reasonable explanation that set her worries to rest. Carmilla just had an absentminded moment.

She didn't have any plans with Carmilla that day, but she'd take the excuse to see her.

_Sure! I'll swing by soon and pick it up!_

Laura caught a ride with Uber to the bar, and when she entered, Mel looked up right away and smiled.

"Hey there, 'Cupcake'." Mel teased, making Laura blush. Mel reached around the bar and pulled out Carmilla's phone. "Thanks for grabbing this. I'm not off my shift for a little while longer and frankly, her neighbourhood scares me."

"Ah, so you've been to her neck of the woods?" Laura replied, taking the phone.

"Just once. The week after the whole affair thing happened and she disappeared off the grid." Mel explained, and her eyes widened. "S-Sorry. I forgot you were directly involved in that."

"That's okay." Laura sighed. Mel nodded slowly.

"I just can't believe she forgot her phone. She seemed a little… frazzled today, so I guess that explains it." Mel mused. "When you drop this off, can you check she's okay?"

Laura's eyebrows pulled back in concern. "Yeah, I will." She affirmed, and Mel nodded in approval.

"Carmilla and I – we're not exactly close. She's always held people at arms length, but I know her well enough to care." Mel described. "She's gotten a lot better since you've come around. She's better when she's with you. That's why I texted you with her phone."

Laura's cheeks flushed with heat. "She's helped me, too."

"You're good for each other." Mel nodded. "And the boss sends his thanks for helping her get back on track."

"I think that was all her. I just stood by ready for her to lean on if she needed it." Laura claimed. "…Anyway, I better go take this to her."

"Drop by any time, sugar." Mel winked, going of to wait another table.

Laura scrunched her nose, because she would never be free of the edible nicknames.

Straight from there, she took a ride to Carmilla's apartment. Laura hoped she'd be in, or prepared for company. She'd hate to give Carmilla more "stalker" fuel.

Laura made her way up the dark hallway, and she really wished Carmilla could get out of this place, soon. She could hear some aggressive muttering coming from one of the apartments.

As Laura got closer to Carmilla's door, she realized the muttering was coming from Carmilla's apartment. Laura bit her lip. Carmilla obviously had some sort of company. Maybe she should just slip her phone under the door and leave.

But she remembered what Mel said about Carmilla seeming frazzled, and she remembered how Ell had visited Carmilla the other day and really upset her, and the voices didn't sound very friendly…

It wouldn't hurt just to knock and check up on her.

"What?!" Carmilla snapped after Laura had knocked, yanking the door open. She froze when she saw Laura, wide-eyed. "Laura?"

"Um, hi. Is this a bad time?" Laura questioned. Dumb question, Laura. Obviously it was a bad time.

"Who is that?" Came another sharp voice from inside the apartment. A tall, intimidating woman appeared behind Carmilla, towering over both of them. "Is that one of your addict neighbours? Carmilla doesn't want any of your drugs, dear."

"She's not an addict." Carmilla scoffed to the woman behind her. "And she's not my neighbour, either. She's my- she's Laura."

" _The_ Laura?" The woman's expression changed, going from strict to all business. She practically shoved Carmilla aside. "I heard you were caught up in this whole conundrum as well. Were you looking for representation for your divorce?"

Laura froze and looked at Carmilla, who was glaring at the ground and grinding her teeth.

"No thanks. I'm covered." Laura stated. The woman peered at her in a patronizing manner.

"I can guarantee that whatever firm you're with, I can squeeze plenty more from your cheater of an ex-wife. Even things that she didn't know she had. You'd be left with everything." The woman declared.

"She's not interested." Carmilla glowered, and the woman hummed thoughtfully.

"We'll see about that." She clicked her tongue, handing out a card to Laura. Laura read the shiny name across the surface in a silver cursive.

_Lilita Morgan_

"Do call if you change your mind." The woman gave Laura a tight smile.

"That's enough." Carmilla stated. "We're done for the day."

"Carmilla, dear, we've barely gotten started." The woman narrowed her eyes at Carmilla.

"I'll… we'll talk later." Carmilla affirmed, and gave Laura a side glance. It looked desperate.

"Yeah, sorry. I just… really need to talk to Carmilla. It's an emergency." Laura pleaded.

Lilita looked between the two of them, and she pursed her lips in a disapproving fashion.

"Fine. I'll leave you two to your… business." She crooned, and leaned down to Carmilla. "But you should be careful you don't engage in anything that might hurt your case, hmm?"

Lilita brushed by Laura as she strode out the door. Laura could swear she felt a ghostly chill erupt across her body. She was busy watching the strange woman saunter down the hallway in all of her demonic glory when Carmilla yanked her into the apartment, slamming the door behind them.

"I'll do what I damn well please. It's my life." Carmilla muttered toward the door. She shuddered out a sigh, her shoulders trembling with the effort, and tilted her head towards Laura. "Thank you."

"So… that's your lawyer?" Laura inquired. "She seems… chilly."

"Oh, she's a joy." Carmilla scoffed. "She also happens to be my mother."

Laura's jaw dropped. "But the card said _Morgan_."

"She remarried, apparently. Now all of our names are a mess." Carmilla rolled her eyes. "She's as insufferable as I remember her, but she's also my ticket to getting Ell off my back. I get the 'family discount'."

"Oh, Carmilla. I can't imagine how you're feeling… going back to your mother after all this time." Laura approached Carmilla slowly, placing her hand on Carmilla's arm. She was shaking slightly. "Is there no other option?"

"No. This is something I had to do." Carmilla swallowed hard. "Ell thought she had me trapped in a corner because there was no way in hell I'd contact my mother to represent me. It was just another way she could manipulate me. Well, I'm tired of being controlled, and Ell is in for a big surprise."

Laura rubbed Carmilla's arm gently. "You've come so far, you know?"

"Yeah." Carmilla bit her lip. "It was my decision. And maybe it was the wrong one to make, but it was still my decision."

"I'm just sorry you have to choose between one evil or another." Laura pulled Carmilla into a hug.

"Lucky I've got my guardian angel to help balance it out. Did you just sense I was in trouble, or what?" Carmilla questioned, squeezing Laura back.

"Oh, right." Laura jumped away, rummaging in her purse and pulling out Carmilla's phone. "You forgot this at the bar."

"God damnit." Carmilla groaned, taking the phone. "I was wondering where that went. You dropped everything to deliver it to me?"

"Basically." Laura giggled. Carmilla shook her head, putting her arms around Laura's waist.

"You truly are my guardian angel." Carmilla sighed, resting her forehead against Laura's.

"Funny." Laura murmured. "I remember thinking the same about you when you saved my life."

Carmilla's eyes shimmered, a breath whooshing out of her as she looked at Laura. Everything slowed down in that moment as Laura realized how close they were – how she could so closely study the contours of Carmilla's face – that beautiful piece of sculpted marble.

"Laura," Carmilla breathed, and now Laura was swallowing hard.

"Yeah, Carm?" Laura whispered. Carmilla's tongue darted out to lick her bottom lip, and Laura could help but watch it. She felt herself start to melt in Carmilla's arms.

"I'm really scared about how I feel about you." Carmilla admitted softly, and Laura felt her breath catch.

"That makes two of us." Laura murmured.

Carmilla's eyes widened, and her gaze darted around Laura's expression for a split moment before her hand travelled up to the back of Laura's head to bring their lips together.

Laura released a moan of desire immediately at the contact, her hands tangling in Carmilla's hair as she returned the kiss vehemently. This was far different from the chaste kiss Carmilla gave her on New Year's. This kiss came with all the frustration and longing they had built up since they began talking to each other.

Carmilla's hand gripped at Laura's hip, pulling her closer. Laura could feel Carmilla's heart pounding. Or maybe it was hers. She didn't care. All she knew is that this kiss was far better than she imagined. It felt like it was always Carmilla. It always should've been Carmilla.

Laura's hands journeyed from Carmilla's curls down her torso, eliciting a moan from Carmilla that shot heat up Laura's spine. Her hands grazed along the hem of Carmilla's shirt, pushing the fabric aside so that Laura's fingers brushed Carmilla's soft skin of her abdomen. Carmilla gasped into Laura's mouth, and Laura lunged forward to take Carmilla's lip between her teeth gently. Her hands moved back up to cup Carmilla's face, heatedly capturing Carmilla's lips in hers over and over, never getting enough.

Carmilla matched Laura's pace, and soon Laura was stumbling back from Carmilla's enthusiasm. Carmilla's fingers curled at Laura's back, lifting her up, and Laura felt Carmilla's tongue run across her bottom lip agonizingly slow that made Laura throb in all the right places. She didn't get the chance to appreciate the feeling of Carmilla's lips on New Year's, and now she got to experience them in all their glory.

And just like that, the pressure of Carmilla's greedy lips disappeared, as well as the warmth of Carmilla's body. Laura stood there, eyes still closed, listening to the sound of her own heavy breathing along with Carmilla's coming from a few feet away.

"Well, that was a kick." Carmilla gasped. Laura's eyes slowly opened and she met Carmilla's flushed expression. She looked guilty, and now with the lack of Carmilla's lips to distract her, Laura did as well. Carmilla seemed to catch the fear flooding into Laura's eyes. "Laura, I- I'm so sorry. I shouldn't have done that."

Laura gulped down a deep breath as she tried to process what just happened. Her and Carmilla kissed. And she wanted it. So bad. That wasn't new information, but god, what did this change? Laura still wasn't ready. Now all that was flooding through her mind was the paranoia that she would just get her heartbroken, no matter how much she wanted Carmilla.

"Carm," Laura croaked out. "I want to. You have no idea. But I _can't_. I'm still so messed up from Danny. And… and we're not even divorced yet."

"I know." Carmilla nodded slowly. "And I… I need to figure out how to be on my own. It's just, it's _you_ , and I lost myself for a second."

"It was more than a second." Laura muttered. Carmilla snickered slightly.

"They weren't a bad couple of seconds." Carmilla admitted. Laura closed her eyes, her lips parted slightly as she remembered the feeling of having Carmilla's lips trapped between hers.

"Yeah." Laura breathed, opening her eyes. "Now what?"

Carmilla stuck her hands in her pockets, shrugging. "I don't know, creampuff."

"Is there any chance we could just go back to being friends like it never happened?" Laura questioned desperately. Carmilla gave Laura a sad smile.

"You were never my friend, Laura." Carmilla stated, and Laura felt her heart drop, but then she continued, "You went straight from the lost girl on the street and at my door to… far beyond whatever I'd consider friendship."

Laura's throat tightened.

"Maybe we should just take a bit of a break. Keep some distance for a while until we can figure our issues out." Laura suggested, but she could hear the regret in her voice. She saw the pain in Carmilla's eyes and she felt the regret as well.

"Do you really believe that's what's best for us?" Carmilla whimpered, as if the idea of staying away from Laura was crumbling away at her heart.

"Carm, when you kiss me or look at me like that, it cracks me open and all these messy hopes and feelings come tumbling out and 'maybes' and 'somedays' and then I think about how I don't want another Danny to happen and I get paranoid and… and…" Laura sputtered, causing Carmilla to darken.

"Don't equate me to that lunatic. I'm not her." Carmilla insisted.

"I _know_." Laura groaned. "But that's where my mind goes to and how is that fair? To either of us?"

"I suppose it's not." Carmilla mumbled, clenching her fists and looking away. "I agree we shouldn't date right now. After all, how would it be fair if I committed myself to taking care of you when I'm just figuring out how to take care of myself? But should we really stop seeing each other in general?"

"Oh, Carm." Laura sighed, allowing herself to reach forward and cup Carmilla's cheek. Carmilla, despite the hurt in her eyes, leaned into the touch. "It's only temporary. I wouldn't be able to stand being away from you for too long, after all. But that's part of the problem… because all I want to do right now is kiss the living hell out of you, and that's dangerous."

Carmilla bit her lip, blinking away her tears.

"Yeah. Maybe it's for the best for now." Carmilla relented. Laura tugged Carmilla into a hug.

"But if you ever need anything, just text or call or drop by or whatever. I'm still your support system." Laura promised as Carmilla wrapped her arms around Laura in a tight embrace.

"Guardian angel."

* * *

They lasted a week.

Almost to the hour of when they decided to keep their distance, Laura's phone rang and Carmilla's name pulsed on the screen.

"Hey." Laura muttered into the phone.

" **Hey**." Carmilla's voice returned her greeting. Just the sound of Carmilla's voice made Laura's heart swell. She honestly didn't know how she lasted this long without hearing it.

"What's up?" Laura asked, and maybe it was a lame way to start a conversation, but she really meant it. She wanted to hear everything about what Carmilla had been up to that week. What she had missed out on.

Carmilla let out a deep sigh. " **I was thinking: feelings are appalling. I say we set them aside and hang out today, yeah**?"

Laura's mouth tugged into a smile.

"That sounds like a horrible strategy." Laura stated.

" **So you disagree**?"

"Nope. What do you want to do?" Laura questioned. She could hear the relieved sigh Carmilla breathed out on the other side.

" **Just go for a walk, maybe. Do some window shopping. Whatever you want**." Carmilla offered.

"Sounds great. Just let me finish up this BuzzFeed thing and I'll meet you." Laura stated.

" **Mmm, okay**." Carmilla sighed. " **And Cupcake**?"

"Yeah?"

" **Did you miss me**?"

Another smile tugged at Laura's lips.

"Like someone cut a hole in me."

* * *

"So, how's the whole situation with momma lawyer?" Laura questioned as they wandered down the sidewalk of a busy street, snow flitting around them.

"As good as you could expect." Carmilla muttered. "Sometimes I feel like she blames me for the whole thing and now it's such a burden for her to bail me out of this mess. I can't even talk back because as much as I want to throttle her, she did come to my aid when I called."

"It's the least she could do." Laura stated.

"Maybe." Carmilla sighed. "There's moments after she insinuates that 'this wouldn't have happened if I had been with a man', which is such a fallacy, and I wonder if she's even worth dealing with. Then I imagine being legally married to Ell any longer and I almost feel physically ill."

"Hey, you'll get through this. Just hang in there a little longer and you'll be rid of both of them." Laura assured her.

"That's what I keep telling myself, Cupcake. I have a meeting with her and Ell together in the same room in a few days. You can tell I'm looking forward to that." Carmilla groaned. "It feels nice, though. This whole 'talking about it' thing. You were on the right track after all."

"I do what I can." Laura smiled, and Carmilla glanced over at her.

"How've you been doing, creampuff?" Carmilla asked.

"Apartment still feels really empty. Thinking of getting five kittens to fill the void. Will also feel better once my divorce is finalized and I can just start to…" Laura looked up shyly at Carmilla, "move on. You know, the usual."

"Yeah, I know." Carmilla nodded. "Five kittens could be a handful."

"I might just start with a goldfish." Laura pondered. "I think I'm starting to sleep better, though."

"Oh really?" Carmilla inquired.

"Mhm. I think I've finally started to purge the image of my ex-wife's infidelity from my brain so I don't see it as much when I close my eyes anymore." Laura revealed. She left out the fact that her imagining her yellow pillow to be Carmilla as she slept probably helped a little.

"Progress." Carmilla mused.

"Progress." Laura agreed, and then skipped in front of Carmilla so she was facing her while walking backwards. "Okay, enough affair talk. Where do you want to go? We could go to the aquarium, or ice skating, or-" Laura's suggestions were cut off by her ring tone going off in her purse. "Or you could watch me while I take this call. Hold on."

"Riveting." Carmilla smirked. Laura rolled her eyes at her while she answered the call.

"Hello?"

" **Hello, Laura Hollis**?"

"Speaking." Laura confirmed. Whoever she was talking to had a thick accent of some kind.

" **Ah, this is Dr. Vordenberg from the St. Joseph's Health Centre. I'm calling in regards to your father**."

Laura felt her heart stop. She took a shaky breath before pressing the conversation forward.

"Is he alright?" Her voice came out so meekly that Carmilla's attention snapped to her immediately, staring at Laura intently.

" **Oh, he is fine, Ms. Hollis. But there have been, hm, some developments with his health and we'd like you to come in to talk more in depth about the issues and what steps we will take moving forward**."

That didn't do too much to calm her nerves, but at least her dad was alright. She was with Carmilla right now, but her dad…

"Yeah, absolutely. I'll come by now." Laura confirmed.

" **Wonderful. We'll see you soon**." Dr. Vordenberg stated, and the call ended. Laura lowered the phone slowly, her heart squeezing painfully about what this news might be.

"Sweetheart? What was that? Are you okay?" Carmilla questioned with concern, carefully putting her arms around Laura's waist.

"That was the hospital." Laura mumbled. Carmilla's brow knitted together but Laura shook her head before Carmilla could jump to any conclusions. "My dad's fine. I think. They just want me to come in to discuss some… developments. So I'm going to head there now."

Carmilla nodded quickly. "Okay. Yeah. Do what you must."

Laura stepped away, lacing her fingers with Carmilla's as she looked her over. Laura didn't exactly want to leave Carmilla right now, especially after they had _such_ a long "break" from each other. And she didn't particularly want to walk into that hospital and face probable bad news alone either.

"So, you up for meeting my dad?" Laura asked. Carmilla shot her a small smile.

"Well, you met my mother, so that seems only fair." Carmilla teased. Laura beamed, tugging Carmilla down the street with her.

"I promise my dad will be far more pleasant, if he's on his best behaviour." Laura assured her over her shoulder. Carmilla squeezed Laura's hand.

"If he's anything like you, creampuff, I look forward to it."

* * *

Laura felt like the wind had been knocked out of her. The only thing keeping her grounded and not freaking out at the moment was Carmilla clutching her hand.

"His… his organs are failing?" Laura whispered, the tears flooding her eyes. Carmilla stepped close to her, trying to provide as much comfort with her presence as possible. "But I thought it was just his lungs that were afflicted!"

"Unfortunately the toxins had their long term effects, I'm sorry to report." Dr. Vordenberg viewed her sadly. "But! We still have good news!"

"Good news?! How could there possibly be good news?!" Laura snapped. Carmilla rested her hand on Laura's abdomen, which was either for holding her back from biting the doctor's head off or to remind her to calm down. Either way, both worked. Laura took a deep breath, remembering that the doctor was trying his best. "Sorry. I could use some good news."

"Do not fret, Ms. Hollis. I'm certain this is all hard to digest." Dr. Vordenberg gave a pitying smile. "We here have come up with some experimental treatment options, but we will need you to help if we're to be successful."

"Me? What can I do? I don't have a medical degree!" Laura gaped, eliciting a hearty chuckle from the doctor.

"Oh, it's nothing like that. We simply need blood and tissue samples." He explained, and thankfully when Laura furrowed her brow, he continued. "It's a very complicated process but you see, we'll need to repair the organs who have been damaged, and since you share his DNA, we may be able to use parts of you to make his organs strong once again – including his lungs!"

"You mean…" Laura breathed.

"If we're successful, you'd have saved his life, Ms. Hollis." He smiled warmly. Laura nodded vigorously.

"Yeah. I'll give whatever you need." Laura stated.

"Excellent." Dr. Vordenberg clapped his hands together. "We'll begin immediately. It's nothing invasive, don't you worry. Just taking some blood and swabbing your cheek for now."

"Sounds easy enough." Laura claimed, looking over at Carmilla. "Carm, you coming with?"

But Carmilla had gone a sickly pale. "Um, actually, I-" She swallowed hard. "Blood makes me queasy."

"Oh." Laura stared. "That's okay! You can visit my dad while I'm gone."

"Won't that be weird? He doesn't even know me." Carmilla pointed out.

"He… knows you well enough. I've told him about you enough." Laura blushed, and Carmilla smiled.

"Then I hope I reach the expectations of the picture you painted for him." Carmilla smirked.

"Don't worry. You will." Laura patted her hand. "Room 307."

"Got it." Carmilla winked. "Good luck with the, er, blood thing."

"Don't faint before you get to see my dad." Laura warned. Carmilla chuckled and kissed Laura's cheek before leaving. Laura touched the spot Carmilla's lips touched her cheek and sighed. Hopefully it'd be easy to take blood from her, the way it was pumping so hard right now.

Luckily it was a very fast process, and Laura was able to rush out to her father's room with a brand new cotton ball and bandage on her arm. She stopped short outside of the room, hearing soft voices inside. She was curious about what her dad would be saying to Carmilla without her there. Blame her investigative journalism side.

"I'd do anything for your daughter, sir." Carmilla answered.

"Good. That's what I like to hear." Her dad replied. "Listen, I know about my situation. It can't be helped. That girl tends to get herself into trouble sometimes. I know you've saved her life once before already. If I… If I'm gone, will you please continue to do so?"

"Of course." Carmilla confirmed. "I can't stop her from being adventurous, but I'd never let her get hurt."

Laura's heart warmed.

"Thank you." Laura's dad said, and he sounded choked up. "Although, I'd like to get better. I missed walking her down the aisle the first time because of this. I'd like another chance at that, if you know what I mean."

_Dad!_

Laura heard Carmilla clear her throat uncomfortably. "Um, well, I think it might be a bit early to think about that." She stumbled. "We haven't exactly established anything between us… yet."

"Oh, of all the- For Christ sakes. You two are going to be the real death of me." Laura's dad groaned. "I'm going to tell you the same thing I told Laura. When the time comes, please allow yourself to be happy."

Laura decided Carmilla had suffered enough.

"All done being used as a human juice box!" Laura announced as she walked into the room. She grimaced and looked over at Carmilla to make sure the imagery hadn't bothered her, but Carmilla looked deep in thought.

"My hero." Her dad outstretched his arms and gave Laura a bear hug. "I was just having a nice discussion with your… friend, here."

"Did you behave?" Laura scowled.

"As always." Her dad grinned and looked over at Carmilla. "I like her, by the way. She's everything you said she was. Sort of reminds me of your mom, actually. Not in looks or personality or anything, but it's something in her eyes… especially in the way she looks at you."

Carmilla seemed to jump and Laura noticed Carmilla had been staring at her the whole time. Carmilla looked away, blushing.

"Daaad!" Laura groaned.

"What? Just because I'm hooked up to this bed doesn't mean I can't embarrass my daughter." He chuckled, leading into some wheezing coughs. Laura deflated looking at him. He was always so cheerful. It was easy to forget how frail he really was.

They stayed talking to him for a while, and when Laura saw his eyes start to droop, she knew it was time to leave. She didn't want to push him too far.

"Well, we should let you get some rest." Laura stated. "Again, try not to wife a nurse while I'm gone."

"I can't promise that, sweetie-pie." Her dad teased with a glint in his eye. Laura rolled her eyes, grabbing Carmilla's arm.

"Okay, we're leaving." Laura huffed.

"Oh daughter of mine, could you please hang back a moment?" He requested, and then looked at Carmilla. "I just need to borrow her for a second. Promise."

"Take all the time you need." Carmilla smiled, leaving the room. Laura's dad outstretched his hand, which Laura took.

"Laura, she's not Danny." He whispered. Laura felt herself blush.

"I-I know. It's just…" Laura bit her lip.

"Honey, you've never met someone like Carmilla before. You'd never meet someone like her again." Her dad affirmed. "Just keep that in mind."

"Yeah." Laura breathed, nodding slowly. "Love you, dad."

"Love you too, pumpkin." He beamed. Laura slipped her hand away and went to join Carmilla in the hall with tears in her eyes.

"He's great." Carmilla said immediately. "He really loves you… wants what's best for you."

"Yeah, he does." Laura croaked, wiping her eyes. "I don't… I don't know what I'd do without him, if he- if he-"

Carmilla wrapped Laura up in her arms and Laura immediately collapsed into her, breathing her in and allowing the stress to alleviate. She decided taking a break from Carmilla was a stupid idea. Absence makes the heart grow fonder, after all, and she didn't think she could stay away from her any more.

She wouldn't know what she'd do without Carmilla, either.

* * *

Laura's hands were trembling over the keyboard. She was trying so hard to focus on this new gif list, but nothing could distract her mind right now.

Carmilla was at a meeting with Ell and her mother at that moment.

It made her sick that Carmilla had to face them alone. Probably her two most hated people, and she had to talk to them, together. With Carmilla's emotional trauma on top of that, Laura was certain Carmilla wasn't having the best time. She couldn't help but worry.

She knew Carmilla could take care of herself, but something about Ell and the mother made Laura's skin crawl in a way she couldn't describe.

She told Carmilla to come straight to her place afterwards so they could… cuddle, or something. Feelings be damned. She just had to wait until Carmilla texted her that she was free and on her way. Then she could relax.

But there was no hope of relaxing until then.

Laura let out a sigh and gave up trying to work. It was a lost cause at this point. Instead she walked to her bookshelf and pulled out one of her old favourites.

She sat back down at her computer and ran her fingers over the "C. Karnstein" embroidered on the front. Laura hadn't actually read the book in a while. Maybe this would help her feel closer to Carmilla while she waited.

Laura cracked the book open, reading different random passages. 18-year-old Carmilla's prose really did need some work, but her writing was still so impactful anyway. The way each situation was described yanked Laura in. She couldn't believe Carmilla had actually gone through this sort of stuff.

It was easy to see why so many people loved it, and left all those kind reviews. Laura still couldn't imagine how Ell had convinced Carmilla everybody hated it, and turned Carmilla off writing for life. Why would she have done it? So many people clearly bought and loved it!

If Carmilla had gotten all the royalties, she wouldn't have had to hire her mother-

Wait.

Everything clicked in Laura's head at once. _How could she have been so dense_?

She quickly tore through her apartment until she found the _Lilita Morgan_ card, checked the address of the firm, and stomped out the door.

No one was going to take advantage of Carmilla Karnstein again. Not on her watch.

* * *

"Hi, I'm looking for Lilita Morgan." Laura slammed her hand on the receptionist's desk. The woman regarded her coldly.

"Mrs. Morgan is in a meeting right now. Do you have an appointment?" She asked. Laura caught the way the receptionist's eyes darted to a nearby set of double doors.

"Cool. Thanks." Laura stated, stalking off to the double doors.

"Excuse me, ma'am, you can't go in there!" The receptionist called after her, but Laura ignored her. She was on a mission.

She busted through the double doors, making everyone in the room jump.

"Cupcake? The hell?" Carmilla gaped. Laura noted the drained look on Carmilla's face and tore her gaze away. If she looked at Carmilla any longer, she'd lose all her fury and just throw her arms around.

Her eyes, surprisingly, landed on Danny who was also there. Probably to give her new 'partner' support. She looked as confused as everyone else.

"Laura, what are you doing here?" Danny interrogated incredulously.

Laura ignored her, too.

"You two." Laura glowered at Lilita and Ell. "I have a bone to pick with you."

"Ms. Hollis this is _most_ informal." Lilita sputtered.

"Bite me." Laura spat.

"Oh, your new playmate's feisty, isn't she, Carmilla?" Ell smirked.

"Shut up. I'm talking." Laura growled. "Ell. Why did you marry Carmilla?"

Ell looked stunned for a moment. "Wh-why because I loved her, of course. But then the way she abused me-"

"Bullshit." Laura snapped. "Why did you stop her from writing another book? Were the royalties from the first one enough to sustain you, and you worried that if she knew how popular her book was, she'd realize she wasn't getting the money from it?"

Ell's jaw dropped open, as well as Carmilla's.

"Laura, what the hell are you talking about?" Danny gaped. Lilita sat there, unperturbed.

"Carmilla, you said Ell handled all your financial stuff, right?" Laura recalled, and Carmilla nodded slowly. "And what better way to gain total control of all your royalties than to marry you."

"You… you don't know what you're talking about." Ell glared.

"Oh yeah? Then where's the money? Why, if people are still buying the book, is she not receiving any of it? And why are you so determined to milk another year of marriage to Carmilla? Perhaps is it because you'd like to have the time to 'legally' claim all that money as your own?" Laura accused.

Ell's mouth snapped shut, but she said nothing. Danny looked over at her.

"Is this true?" Danny questioned.

"You know it is." Laura stated. "You may have turned out to be a cheating dirtbag, but I still know you well enough to believe you wouldn't be in on this for Carmilla's money. So, how'd Ell manipulate you into believing it was a good idea for her to stay married to Carmilla? Because that's what she does, you know. She manipulates." Laura growled. " _Just trying to look out for you_."

"Well, this has all been a fascinating revelation-" Lilita started.

"And **you**!" Laura whipped her glare toward Lilita. "Don't think you're off the hook, either! I was wondering how Ell could get away with all this – unless she had legal help to keep publishers and literature buffs off Carmilla's back so she wouldn't find out. Ell went to you and cut you in on a deal that would use your daughter's _abominable_ sexuality against her. You were in on it the whole time."

"That's preposterous." Lilita sputtered.

"I wasn't too sure myself, but then I came here and **look** , where's Ell's lawyer?" Laura glanced around the room, her eyes falling on Carmilla. "Shouldn't they be here? Think about it. Lilita is Ell's lawyer, too. And I can't imagine how they were going to exploit you this time. A divorce for your royalties."

"You have no proof!" Lilita shouted, standing up.

"Not yet, no. But I have a degree in journalism and I will track down every ounce of conspiracy your firm has ever dished out and make sure all that information lands in the hands of one of the most viewed websites in the world." Laura threatened. "If Carmilla doesn't get every cent back that you owe her – of what's _rightfully hers_ – I'll make you burn."

Silence fell over the conference room. Laura kept her eyes locked to Lilita's challenging for a rebuttal. Eventually, Lilita sighed and started gathering up her papers.

"It seems with this new information, we should reconvene another time with the intention of returning what belongs to Ms. Karnstein." Lilita muttered.

" _What?_ She's bluffing!" Ell argued.

"Maybe so, but I am not going to risk losing my entire firm over your greed. Or mine. Meeting adjourned." Lilita strode to the front of the room and stopped in front of Laura. "Not bad, Ms. Hollis."

Lilita gave Laura an impressed smirk that reminded her eerily of Carmilla, and then she sauntered out of the room. Danny followed soon after, looking enraged.

"Danny! Babe, wait! I can explain!" Ell sprinted after her, but not before also stopping in front Laura as well. "I'll make you pay for this."

Laura took a menacing step towards her, eyes narrowed. "It seems like you could use the money."

Ell released an aggressive growl before storming out, which left her and Carmilla.

Laura took a deep breath, letting all the intensity drained out of her body. Then, she looked at Carmilla.

Carmilla was staring at her in awe, tears filling her eyes. She licked her lips, and her gaze gave off the impression that Laura was the entire world to her right then.

And in that moment, Laura knew she wanted to give Carmilla the entire world.

"I had no idea." Carmilla finally whispered. "How could I be so naïve?"

"That's what I'm here for." Laura sighed. "I'm just sorry it took me so long to figure it out."

"Laura, you-" Carmilla stood up, making her way across the room. She stopped in front of her, hands twitching and staring at the ground. "Thank you."

"Carmilla," Laura breathed. "Please, just kiss me."

Carmilla snapped her head up, surprised, and then her mouth turned into a grin.

And then that mouth was pressed fervently against Laura's.

Laura couldn't help but smile against Carmilla's lips. It felt so right. So perfect.

"Wait, wait," Carmilla pulled away, and for a moment Laura was nervous that Carmilla still wasn't ready. "Exactly how much money do I have?"

"By my calculations, a lot." Laura giggled, and Carmilla hung her head back.

"Thank god. Maybe now I can get a decent apartment." Carmilla groaned. "I can't believe they swindled me for so long."

"Those bitches." Laura murmured, pulling Carmilla back in for a kiss. Laura moaned, pushing Carmilla back against the table.

"Laura, I-" Carmilla paused to kiss Laura again, "I'm not going to-" Another kiss, "have sex with you for the first time in my mother's office."

Laura clutched at the front of Carmilla's shirt, lips grazing each other and her eyes burrowing into Carmilla's.

"My apartment's closer."

* * *

They stumbled into Laura's apartment after a very torturous Uber ride where Carmilla's hand was squeezing Laura's thigh the entire time. Laura found herself tearing Carmilla's leather jacket off enthusiastically. She'd never wanted someone this badly.

No one.

Not even Danny.

"You sure you want this, creampuff?" Carmilla questioned, and there was worry in her eyes. Laura slowed down, trying to think with her head rather than her hormones for a moment. She nodded slowly.

"Yes." Laura whispered, kissing Carmilla sweetly. "Yes."

Laura kept whispering that word as she trailed kisses over Carmilla's jaw, down her neck, and pausing to suck the skin between her teeth on Carmilla's collarbone.

"…Do you?" Laura's voice wavered. Carmilla let out a chuckle, and Laura was scooped up in Carmilla's arms with Laura's legs around her waist.

"I've been dreaming of this moment since Christmas Eve." Carmilla admitted in a husky voice. She gave Laura sloppily as she stumbled to the bedroom, tumbling on the bed together.

Laura tried to go slowly, to enjoy this moment, but she found herself peeling off Carmilla's clothes before she really had time to breathe. She just wanted to feel the sensation of Carmilla's smooth skin against hers.

The thought made her moan.

The actual sensation made her moan even louder.

She started at the base of Carmilla's navel and kissed up Carmilla's abdomen and chest, leaving feathery kisses between Carmilla's breasts. Laura leaned up over her, breathing heavy, and took in the warm look Carmilla was giving her.

Carmilla leaned up, grasping Laura at the waist.

"Tell me what you want." Carmilla growled, leaving kisses by Laura's ear. Laura trembled at the feeling of Carmilla's hand trailing slowly up her thigh.

"Carm, please." Laura begged. Carmilla let out a chuckle, which soon mixed with the gasp that escaped Laura as Carmilla slipped her hand between Laura's legs.

"Oh, Carm, fuck!" Laura cried, and Carmilla smirked at her while keeping a steady pace.

"I've never heard you swear before." Carmilla commented. "It's hot."

"Oh… shut up… you asshole." Laura sputtered, her hips bucking against Carmilla's movements. She'd get Carmilla back later, and the thought of Carmilla crying out crude words just added to Laura's pleasure.

And Carmilla certainly ended up spewing her own share of profanities under Laura's hand.

* * *

Laura curled into Carmilla's side, still recovering what felt like a lifetime worth of orgasms. She was surprised she could even move right now. They felt they had to make up for lost time with each other, you know?

Plus there was the whole, "will this happen again" thing. They sort of just let their feelings take the helm of that one and hadn't had time to talk.

It's hard to talk when your mouth is busy with… other stuff.

Laura's fingers traced lazily along Carmilla's hip, her head turned to listen to Carmilla's heartbeat. She closed her eyes, enjoying the feeling of Carmilla playing with her hair. Revelling in the moment.

It still felt perfect.

"So, I've been thinking." Carmilla finally said. Laura opened her eyes and looked up, curious. "Maybe I don't have to try to work this out all on my own. Maybe I can still have someone around to help, if I need it."

"Have someone in mind?" Laura teased, and Carmilla rolled her eyes.

"Funny." Carmilla muttered, leaning down to give Laura a kiss. When she pulled away, she wore a vulnerable expression. "How are you feeling… about all this?"

Laura bit her lip. "Well, I've been thinking that, even if I'm scared of getting my heart broken again, maybe what I feel with you – this happiness – it's all worth the risk."

Carmilla furrowed her brow, and rolled over so she had Laura pinned under her.

"Laura, I'd never hurt you. Not like she did." Carmilla swore. Laura reached up, stroking Carmilla's cheek.

"I know." Laura whispered. "Maybe we still have some issues to work out, but that doesn't mean we can't work through them together."

Carmilla grinned down at her. "So where does this put us?"

"Somewhere _beyond_ the realms of what we'd consider friendship." Laura chuckled, kissing Carmilla again.

"Good. Because it was killing me not being with you." Carmilla closed her eyes, resting her forehead to Laura's.

"Glad I sought you out to talk?" Laura giggled.

"Yes, I'm immensely glad you stalked me." Carmilla teased.

"Why do I like you again?" Laura rolled her eyes.

"Because you'd be a fool to deny your guardian angel." Carmilla snickered, squeezing Laura's arms and nuzzling down to kiss her neck. "And I'd be a fool to deny mine."

* * *

Laura ran into Danny for the first time at the grocery a few weeks later. She wore the same guilty expression she always did when she saw Laura, ever since the affair. Now it also came with regret.

"Hey, Hollis."

Laura nearly dropped the box of cereal she had been picking out.

"Oh, uh, wow. Hey Danny." Laura swallowed hard. Laura noticed it was only from the awkwardness rather than the bitter slap of betrayal from before.

Well maybe there was still a bit of that. But there wasn't any longing anymore.

"How've you been doing?" Danny asked.

"Uh, pretty good. Work's been busy. You know how it is." Laura explained. Danny nodded slowly.

"Yeah. We're getting into spring soon so… training will pick up even more." Danny sighed. Laura shifted between her feet. She used to be able to carry long conversations with Danny. Now, nothing. "I'm- I'm not with Ell anymore."

"Good." Laura stated, and Danny hung her head.

"Yeah. After that whole… thing with Carmilla's lawyer mom, I took a step back and realized what she was doing to me." Danny shook her head. "She even nearly convinced me to quit the national lacrosse team. I almost quit the thing I love most in the world. I can't believe it."

"I do." Laura sighed. "Like I told you, that's what she does. I don't even fully blame you for the affair anymore. She was all up I there with her… Jedi mind tricks."

"That's no excuse. You should still blame me." Danny claimed firmly. "I never should've cheated on you. That was the worst mistake of my life and I… I wish it had never happened."

Laura looked into Danny's regretful eyes, searching.

"…You… do you want to get back together?" Laura gaped. "Because the divorce has been finalized so you can't take that back now-"

"Laura," Danny held up her hand. "I'd be lying if I said I didn't want you back, but I know I don't deserve you now, after everything."

Laura crossed her arms, looking at her shoes. "It's more than that. Like you said, lacrosse is your greatest love and I couldn't compete. You're married to your work, which is fine for you. But for me-" Laura let out a sigh. "I guess I'm needy."

"And Carmilla provides what you need?"

Laura's eyes shot up to stare at Danny.

"So you know?" Laura questioned.

"It was obvious from when you stormed into that meeting. I've never seen you filled with so much passion. Not even for me." Danny mumbled, pushing her own hair back. Laura's gaze found the ground again.

"Yes, Carmilla is very attentive." Laura confirmed.

"Good. I'm glad you found happiness in all of this." Danny cleared her throat.

"I hope you do too, Danny." Laura muttered.

"…I'm sorry how everything went down. I wish we could still be friends." Danny offered, but Laura shook her head.

"Maybe one day, but not now." Laura explained.

"Yeah. I understand. Then I wish you the best." Danny relented. "You, and Carmilla."

* * *

Laura clumsily forced her apartment door open, too many grocery bags in hand. She dropped them down with a grunt and Carmilla looked up from her laptop on the couch.

"If you had a lot of groceries, you could've texted me and I would've assisted you." Carmilla raised her eyebrow.

"And crush my tiny pride? Never!" Laura announced, practically leaping over to Carmilla. "Hi."

"Hey, Cupcake." Carmilla leaned over to kiss Laura sweetly.

Lilita ended up getting all of Carmilla's money back as she promised, and the first thing she did was rent a new, nicer apartment closer to Laura. Carmilla was still determined to be independent, but the lease didn't start until the next month, so Laura said Carmilla could swing by her apartment any time.

It was a better environment for writing.

"So how's the book coming along?" Laura tried to lean in to see the screen, but Carmilla turned it away.

"Good. And I told you, I don't want you to see it until it's published." Carmilla chided.

"Fine." Laura pouted. "You better finish up quick, then. I'm dying for some new C. Karnstein content."

"Well the pressure's on, Cupcake. Tons of agents, publishers and LGBTQ organizations have been contacting me after _someone_ posted an article on BuzzFeed about 'the top 10 reasons you should read Queered And Feathered' and hinted that I might be working on something else. They really are… enthusiastic about my next work, thanks to that certain article's whimsical weaving of my writing prowess." Carmilla smirked.

"Always happy to help." Laura beamed smugly.

"Don't I know it." Carmilla sighed, giving Laura a peck on her lips.

"Can I just get a preview of what it's about?" Laura pleaded. "Is it about two different people who met after their wives had an affair with each other and ended up falling in love?"

"In love, you say?" Carmilla raised her eyebrows.

"Mhm." Laura blushed, and Carmilla pulled Laura in for a longer kiss.

"That sounds like a nice ending to a story, doesn't it?" Carmilla cooed. "But I think I'll avoid dipping into the autobiographical pool, this time."

"So I don't get any clues?" Laura pouted.

"Just be patient, buttercup." Carmilla winked. "It'll be worth the wait."

"Okay, okay. I trust you." Laura sighed.

"Music to my ears." Carmilla breathed, kissing Laura on the cheek and nuzzling her gently.

"Mm… speaking of our story and trust, guess who I ran into at the grocery store."

Carmilla paused, her lips against Laura's jaw. "Big red?"

"The one in the same." Laura confirmed. Carmilla leaned back, looking at Laura with worry.

"How are you feeling?" She questioned, brushing Laura's hair to the side.

"Oddly okay. It was actually a nice bit of closure." Laura stated. "And I'd be lying if I said it wasn't a _little_ satisfying to hear her say she made a huge mistake."

"Did she try to win you back?" Carmilla inquired.

"She knows she doesn't stand a chance." Laura proclaimed, making Carmilla grin.

"Good." Carmilla leaped over Laura pushing her down on the couch and purred against her collarbone. "She missed out."

"You flatterer." Laura giggled.

"You angel."

**Author's Note:**

> So! What'd you think? It was really long, I know. I hope you took bathroom breaks. But hey! If you enjoyed it, I'd love to hear your thoughts! I rather enjoyed writing it myself. Anyway, I hope everyone's holidays are going splendidly and I'll see you in my next fic if the length of this one didn't turn you off Fan Fiction for life.


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